Thursday, October 25, 2012

How She Thinks & Where She's Been

Ok, I need to rant about a few things that have really irked me lately....

So, I'm about 8 months into my current job as an airline crewmember.  Many things are fucking AWESOME about my job...but there is one thing I've noticed that really bothers me.  Sometimes I feel like workplace norms, ethics, respect, rules,etc  are stuck back in 1967.  The way that pilots and others treat flight attendants and women in general disgusts me.  The sexual harassment, belittling talk, and lack of respect is hard to tolerate sometimes.  Yesterday our Captain got mad at the First Officer for finishing a conversation he was having with me before he turned to answer a question the Captain asked him... and the Captain says loudly "GOD, What are you? A FEMALE!?" How is that ok???   This is just one example of many, many instances of sexism I see on an almost daily basis. 

Rant #2.  Last week I met my aunt to hang out with her at the dog park she takes her boxer to.  She goes there almost daily and has a group of friends she has made there and socializes with.  Most of these friends are older (40s-50s), white, wealthy Chesterfield residents.  I was introduced to them and we are standing in a circle, near others in the park, having light conversation.  One man mentions he used to have a boxer growing up named "N*****."  (Yes, the N Word).  Everyone proceeds to laugh.  I am already gawking that he has even said the word.  Then everyone starts making racist jokes and giggling.  I was shocked and disgusted that people still could be so blatantly hateful and racist.   This instance and the sexism described above just go to show how much still needs to change in our society. 

My third complaint is about, well, myself.  I am on week 2 of my break from Men/Sex/Dating.  I feel better, and also worse at the same time.  I think my subconscious is freaking out a little bit.  I haven't been TRULY single for over three years.  There's always been someone to call, stay over with, or emotionally rely on.  I don't want to be dependent on anyone else for happiness, security, confidence, or anything anymore.  But I've been having strange reactions to suddenly not having anyone.  I've been dreaming of ex boyfriends and waking up really really missing them.  I woke up pining for Ciaran this morning.  I haven't felt romantically towards him in years; it's always been platonic since we broke up, or so I thought.  And in the last week I've been trying to call and text Jacob like a desperate idiot.  In a strange turn of events, HE is now pushing me away.  Which, really, is a good thing for me.  But it's making me feel like I have to chase him, and I'm really having to fight myself not to do it.  I am just trying to view these things as withdrawal symptoms... like quitting any addiction.  Once this neediness is out of my system, I'll be in great shape.

So, I'm on day 3 of 4 of this trip. I like my crew (besides some intermittent sexism from the Captain), but this trip hasn't been going my way and I want to go home.  I haven't had a chance to enjoy much on my layovers except one delicious, albeit expensive Italian dinner on night #1.

I'm looking forward to going out with friends when i get home tomorrow.  I'll  hopefully be checking out some thrift shops for my new business endeavor, too.  I'm also hanging out with Natalia in Chicago on my next trip since I'll have a 24 hour ORD layover!  And then when I'm back home again I'm joining the YMCA with Simone and celebrating Halloween! So those things make me happy. 

Also, this post makes me happy.  Absolutely brilliant words of advice.  I think one of my favorites is: Have faith in your Gut. 

And with that in mind, I'm off to start my day of flying!!

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