Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Tonight we will sleep in the car

I had to have an awkward talk with my parents last night about why I haven't been sleeping at home and reassure them that I'm doing splendidly in school. I hate how good of a liar I am.

Everything is sort of falling apart at the moment, except for having Jesse now. But I leave for Europe soon and it can only go uphill from there. I think I'm going to do a lot of life-changing when I get back. I may or may not go back to school next fall. We'll see.
I know I'm a little reckless and get caught up easily, but I don't care. That's how I am and I don't want to be different.

In other news, I'm meeting the parents tonight. I'm pretty nervous, but Jesse's mom has already told him she's sure she'll love me. So that has to be good right!? And I know I like his sister.
Then later - I told him we are going to the city and doing something fun. I can only handle being a bum watching tv & eating fast food at his house in Arnold so much. But he knows that.

Tomorrow- getting down to business preparing for my trip!! Craziness!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

new new new

I am totally reconsidering my whole life. In a good way. And i am so happy.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Whoa

I am crazy. And I have a boyfriend. And I am in love. No joke.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Shining Ever So Bright

I've got four days of electronic music, sushi, hookah, frisbee, smoking, drinking, and closeness swirling around my head.

I think I'm a little bit out of my mind. I feel so far away from my normal routine and normal thinking. And wondering what I'm getting caught up in!? I'm a little freaked out if its not obvious.

I'm not ending it though...maybe more time spent sober and out and about would be good. I've never met anyone who I can talk so openly with and who isn't afraid to wear their heart on their sleeve like I do.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Whirlwind

I can't even believe the last three days. So crazy. So great.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

i'm not alone

its super nice to have someone that calls ME all the time. And leaves voicemails like "hey sleeping beauty, just calling to make sure you got home ok last night!" And who I end up talking to on the phone until 2am without even realizing it....

BUT
i'm not getting attached. im not getting attached. im not getting attached!

In other news... my shoes haven't arrived yet, i've completely cut off a certain cunt of an irishman, and am planning a trip to Ireland with more american friends than I ever thought would come -- 4 of my best friends are meeting me there!

My focus is getting away from me with school though, which is bad, i'm getting too caught up in boys and trip-planning. So i'm trying to remind myself of what's important!

Today I'm getting organized, working on a paper that I should've started a long time ago, and then seeing a certain someone tonight (that i'm not attached to!).

Sunday, April 12, 2009

None of that

I'm going to have an experiment in not getting attached. To someone new. This is someone I'd never want to be with long term anyhow.

Just going to have fun!

Stars in their Eyes

What a night that was. Super fun though.
Salsa dancing & Dubstepping all in one night. Lots of tequila shots.
And I didn't get home until 5am.

And I can't stop thinking about the happenings of the evening with a smile on my face.

Friday, April 10, 2009

New Shoes

I splurged on Etsy a couple days ago and got two pairs of vintage shoes.

Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game

Had a blind date last night. His name was Eric and he was extremely easy-going, funny, and the conversation flowed for 3 hours. However, I'm just not sure how attracted I am. But I think he is second-date-worthy.

Today is a very lazy friday. Christina is in town tonight, so we'll be doing something later. I kind of want some Mexican food and a margarita or three...

Tomorrow- salsa dancing with mandi, steven, and jesse (who i'm sort of being set up with). Jesse is one of Mandi's dj friends, which is cool. Last time I met him, we definitely had some flirtation, but he had a girlfriend. Not anymore!

Sunday is Easter and the fam is going to the Cards game -- we splurged and got box seats! I haven't been to a baseball game since I took Ciaran to his first one two years ago...

I'm also very excited that my newfound Austrian friend, Markus (from CouchSurfing.com) already has a customized list of places he wants to show me!!

Also - I found my passport -- which is a huge relief. I actually wasn't mentioning on here, or to anyone, that it was lost because I was so worried about it!

And finally - I'm no longer sure if the Hot Iranian is more than just a friend material. I can't picture being romantic with him... but you never know. There has been flirtation lately - so we'll see.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Why?

oh man, i seriously need to work on not getting so attached. and having such a hard time de-taching. I didn't use to be like this...so I don't know why i'm like this now. The worst thing is that it just ends up being embarrassing, really. *sigh*

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

"Okay, I will give you a hug."

Who knew Iranians loved to hug so much? But, I'm not complaining.

Knots = Gone

Just had a fabulous free massage. I love my job.

:)

I'm happy as a clam!
Why? Well, many reasons: new fun friends, planning a trip to Ireland, having a personal Viennese tour guide and potential friend waiting for me in Vienna, and a date on Thursday!
Das ist sehr gut!!!

Monday, April 6, 2009

I want!

Epershand Earrings from Etsy

Bunnies & Cupcakes

Today I got a message on Okcupid that said:

"you're cuter than two bunnies fucking ontop of a pink cupcake!"

Best compliment of the day. (Although it came from a really weird dude with a lot of tattoos and piercings.)

Mmmm also makes me want to eat a pink cupcake (sans bunny sex).

Sunday, April 5, 2009

CouchSurfing

Okay, so I discovered Couchsurfing.com today. Well not discovered, I guess, since I've heard of it before, but really looked into it today. And it has actually been a great thing because its alleviating a lot of my stress about meeting people and having friends in Vienna.

At the cocktail party last night I realized the snobbiest girl, the one who intimidates me the most for some reason, this girl Annie, who is in all my classes, is going to Vienna. She is traveling every weekend with the one girl I already knew who is going that I thought was okay. I thought maybe she was someone who I could travel on the weekends with, or visit museums with... but if she is going to be with Annie, well then that's off.

I realize it's silly for me to get so worked up about this girl, simply because she is going to be in the same European city as me, or for me to be relying on one person to "be my friend." But I can't shake my annoyance and stress over it. I guess my biggest fear is just that I won't have anyone to travel or sightsee with.

So, anyway, back to Couchsurfing.com which is the solution to this problem. (I felt Annie had stolen the one potential friend I already knew). And my plan B, if i hated the other Americans was to make Austrian friends. Though, recently, I've been warned they are not very friendly. As in, when you speak to them randomly at a pub, or on the street they are weirded out since its not in their culture to talk to random people. So, I wasn't sure how to meet any local people. But this website is perfect. It's basically for a community of free-spirited, global-thinking type people who love meeting fellow travelers, hosting people from other countries, or staying with people they have never met. I was skeptical about actually doing couch-surfing before I looked into the site, but now I think I would actually do it. But, in Vienna, I'm just going to use it as a way to meet some local people. I've already messaged a few people my age on the site living in Vienna... so I really hope to hear back from them.

I also joined the site to advertise myself as someone willing to show around travelers to St. Louis. I think it could be a really fun way to meet new people.

Anyway, I'm so glad I found this site. I hope it's as great of a community of people as it seems to be, and I really hope I can make some Austrian friends.
Meeting the "locals" in Ireland and getting to know their culture from their perspective was what made that experience such an amazing one for me, and it'd be great to have a similar experience in Vienna.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Best Day in a Long Time!

I had such a great day!!!

Spent all afternoon with the Hot Iranian...he says the funniest things and is also one of the sweetest, most genuine people I've ever met! He also said he wanted to know everything about me, which is very endearing, but the phrasing could've been simply because of his English (he might not have meant it in such a romantic way as it sounded).

Tonight I went to Jeff's art history cocktail party which was okay...it was a little awkward, and felt a little... ehhh.."political" as Marisa put it. Jeff gave me absynthe(!?) which is actually disgusting... wish someone would've told me it tastes like black licorice.
Then Sarah, Marisa, and I went to an art opening at SLAM and got to hear the artist, Claudia Schmacke, speak --which was incredibly interesting. Then Marisa and I met up with her sister Ellie and her friend Luna for some Chinese. All-in-all a really fun night!


And I'd be lying if I said I didn't have suuuuuuuuuch a crush on a certain Iranian! :)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Something Quite Atrocious....

Baby, I'm bad news

Talk about epically failling to learn from the past. Today is cold hard evidence of that. I am stuck in a serious rut of bad habits that are making the transcript I'll have when I graduate look worse and worse.
I initially started crying, felt like this was the end of everything. Felt like a complete and utter failure, and a such an idiot for not learning from past mistakes.
I'm feeling better now, my ability to get past things surprises me. Or maybe my brain (which is tricky) is just blocking it out, because if I continued to comprehend what happened today I'd still be feeling pretty upset.
In the span of a two hour art class I went from miserable to doing ok. Spacey Stoner Blonde dude (who I've mentioned before) gave the most hilarious powerpoint presentation I've ever seen, which definitely helped my mood. He was purposely ridiculously cheesy - saying things like "don't take my word for it," and putting on fake voices when reading quotations. The entire class was cracking up.

And I spent some time talking to Marisa which helped, too. Oh! And I'm going hiking on Friday with Marisa, Sarah, Travis, Marisa's friend Luna, and last but not least...........the HOT IRANIAN!!! I'm pretty sure he was being flirty with me and I am not complaining!! The funny thing is Marisa, Shannon, and I are all more or less on the prowl for him! haha. (I'm glad Shannon's not going on Friday.)

I also found out today that I am getting more back from the insurance company for the accident settlement than previously thought... so that is very good news.

I have to meet with Prof. Gregg tonight and there is the possibility for more bad news, but I'm just hoping for the best, and trying to stay positive - I think thats the only way I can handle bad things happening like this...