When asked to name the one person absent from her life that she missed the most, she responded, "The person I hoped I'd be by this point in my life."

Okay-- So, I'm not going to finish school. I am one of those individuals who dropped out of college and said they'd go back someday, and then never did. They aren't going to follow their childhood dreams of being marine biologists, Spanish teachers, lawyers, or art historians (in my case).

Maybe some of these people live in regret for the rest of their lives... of who they could've been. Instead maybe they are working in restaurants, raising kids at home, or worse, living paycheck to paycheck and really struggling financially. They are doomed to unhappiness because of this.

I don't want to live in regret. I want to accept that I've made my share of mistakes, and yes, I'm not going to have the life I dreamed of as a girl of 18. I'm not going to travel the world studying art. I want to stop focusing on the person I USED TO BE. and the dreams of that person. I realized this is making me seriously unhappy. I'm not 20, and thin, and naive and partying all the time. And why should I hold on to the exact same goals I had then.

I am nearly 25, a little curvier, a little less pretty. Much wiser, more worldy, and more realistic. I've fallen off my cloud of idealism... I am quite poor, estranged from certain friends, often unhappy. But I've traveled the world, I have a small group of amazing friends, I live in the city, exactly where I want to be. I support myself completely, without relying on anyone else. I ride the bus everyday, I hold myself to high standards on how I view, judge, and treat others. I have strong convictions that I'm not afraid to stand up for. I can admit my mistakes and shortcomings. I've experienced extreme lows, but also extreme highs.

This is who I am now. It doesn't matter what I used to be. This is how life has shaped me. So, I need to work with what I have and find the right path for the person I am today.

It's not necessarily a degree that I want, but it's frustrating that having an "education" and a piece of paper to show it seems to be the ticket to happiness and success in this world. I do want happiness and a certain kind of success. I just want to attain them with what I have. I want family and friends around me. I want to live in a place with lots of life and culture. I eventually want marriage and children of my own. And I want a day to day job that makes a difference for myself and others. Are all of those things too much to expect? I don't think so. I just need to start feeling out a path and a plan to get there.