Ciao Bella

Hollywood beauties who inspire me....would love to look like any of these women!

Natalie Wood

Emmanuelle Chriqui

Audrey Hepburn

Penelope Cruz

Elizabeth Taylor

Julie Andrews

Marisa Tomei

2011 has Begun!

Ok it's not really over. Who am I kidding? And if we're being really honest here. I am in love with him... still. Simone told me I need mental help if I feel that way after everything that happened. I have analyzed (agonized over is really more like it) and thought through everything that happened countless times. I am not blind to his flaws. I see them, but I still see so much good. This has really been on my mind. Am I naive? I don't know. The good times were so good, that they seem to outshine everything else...

My bills don't scare me anymore. I opened up an envelope for the first time in months today.

And I'd really like to find a way to exercise and eat healthy that works for me... i.e. only having free time to be go running or walk early in the morning and late at night...currently in the winter.. in the city.

I'd love to eat a diet of mostly healthy, raw foods... but it's so expensive! I'm trying to think of ways to make these things work, and make them a priority though. Brave the cold to exercise in the winter? Get up to go running at 6am? Invest in work out shoes/clothes? CUt out my morning coffees to save up to buy veggies and fruit every week? I think I can do it. My life in the past few months has shown me some of my biggest assets: my ability to adapt, think creatively, do the unexpected, and make things work in my own way!

Doesn't all this sound very clear headed? Lately I've reached a place where I feel like I can look back at the past 3-4 years and think... whoa I was going crazy! I literally don't know where my head was at! I still don't regret anything, but I can tell my state of mind now is different, and healthier than it has been in awhile. (And yes, i know the J thing might not seem very healthy... but lately it has brought me more happiness, than stress and anxiety like it used to).

At this rate, things are bound to get better and better! 2011 is gonna be a good year, I think.

Best weekend in a long time

Okay so I (figuratively) quit smoking. I'm feeling good about it!

I have some new red spectacles, some pheromone perfume,and had a fabulous weekend with my best girls! I am feeling happy about life!

Just have to get through this week, and it'll be my three-day Christmas weekend. I can't believe it's Christmas already. I am completely unprepared, but looking forward to it, nonetheless!

I also would like to mention that I have two new Indian men in my life...and I'm intrigued by both. For different reasons...we shall see what happens.

Good night everyone!

:)

Rebel Sundays

Every Sunday I wake up and think, I'm going to clean my room today! Every Sunday, I decide "Fuck that" and it doesn't get done. I have a tendency to rebel against my own rules.

Maybe I'll actually do it today, but probably not. I'll keep you posted.

mmm my roommate is baking something delicious, judging by the smells wafting into my room. Now time to brew some coffee, head to the atm so I can pay my landlord in cash for my rent, and yes, I think I will clean!

Hello!

I have returned to my abandoned blog. Just read my last few posts... and they are quite depressing. But depressed is exactly what I was for awhile there. I have been feeling much livelier in recent times. Still seeing you know who...but the sick attachment is gone and, if it ended tomorrow, I'd be ok. It's just a bad habit like smoking nowadays. You can still be a smoker and have a happy productive life right? Well, you have to quite at some point, and yes, I will do that.

The things that have been making up the pieces of my life as of late: Braving the cold (in a very warm , new parka and winter gear) to continue using public transit (and loving it), taking attendance at my job a little more seriously, slowly chizzling away at my financial problems, battling over the thermostat with my roommate, getting along with my parents, and forming some semblance of long term goals (i.e. attending UMSL by next fall, doing TESOL, moving abroad?).

Who am I again??

Ok. Done with them all. I didn't quite tell J all the truths I thought I'd tell him... to keep him away. Didn't have the heart to. I told him we need to move on... because lying to everyone I know isn't worth it anymore. I told him it was real this time. I am going to give him some of the clothes I had at my place sometime this week, and then that's it.

I think being man-less might make me emotional for a bit.. but I need to be on my own.

Things are a mess with me. And I need to work on a lot. I think I've been using men to distract myself from all the real issues in my life.

Will posted this video on his facebook after I told him what happened last weekend.

.... I suppose he has a point.


I need to gather the pieces of what I used to be, pull myself back together, and get up and do something!