2011 has Begun!

Ok it's not really over. Who am I kidding? And if we're being really honest here. I am in love with him... still. Simone told me I need mental help if I feel that way after everything that happened. I have analyzed (agonized over is really more like it) and thought through everything that happened countless times. I am not blind to his flaws. I see them, but I still see so much good. This has really been on my mind. Am I naive? I don't know. The good times were so good, that they seem to outshine everything else...

My bills don't scare me anymore. I opened up an envelope for the first time in months today.

And I'd really like to find a way to exercise and eat healthy that works for me... i.e. only having free time to be go running or walk early in the morning and late at night...currently in the winter.. in the city.

I'd love to eat a diet of mostly healthy, raw foods... but it's so expensive! I'm trying to think of ways to make these things work, and make them a priority though. Brave the cold to exercise in the winter? Get up to go running at 6am? Invest in work out shoes/clothes? CUt out my morning coffees to save up to buy veggies and fruit every week? I think I can do it. My life in the past few months has shown me some of my biggest assets: my ability to adapt, think creatively, do the unexpected, and make things work in my own way!

Doesn't all this sound very clear headed? Lately I've reached a place where I feel like I can look back at the past 3-4 years and think... whoa I was going crazy! I literally don't know where my head was at! I still don't regret anything, but I can tell my state of mind now is different, and healthier than it has been in awhile. (And yes, i know the J thing might not seem very healthy... but lately it has brought me more happiness, than stress and anxiety like it used to).

At this rate, things are bound to get better and better! 2011 is gonna be a good year, I think.