Friday, January 23, 2009

:(

Had my first appt. with Emily of the semester yesterday and it was rough... apparently there are 8 steps to change and I'm only on Step 2, even after 3 months of counseling. This is depressing.
I'm still having this issue of not letting myself cry in front of a counselor/psychotherapist. We are discussing issues that clearly make me upset, yet something in my brain says "don't let them see you cry." And they can probably tell since a person's voice gets a weird tone, and a little shaky, when they're holding back tears.

I skipped two classes so far this semester. Stats and German. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. What am I doing??? Luckily its not yet to a point where I'm missing anything important, and since German is a retake I already know all this stuff, but still -- its a retake because I missed so many classes in the first place.

Seriously, I just want to do well, learn new things, be happy, be sane. Is that too much to ask of myself???

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