Thursday, January 8, 2009

Three's a Crowd...

Tonight I was supposed to hang out with Claire, get some Starbucks, and continue to help her decorate her new apartment. Well when I called her about an hour before, she was eating dinner with Ben. We agreed to all go to Target together. But it just put me in a weird mood. I'd like to think I am a really nice person, open to new people, not a jealous friend, etc. But maybe I do get jealous of Ben. Claire and I have become really close, and a lot of times we do hang out just she and I. But when I hear Ben will be around, I just think "ugh." I don't know, maybe it's not even Ben himself, maybe its more how Claire acts around Ben. Because the two of us can hang out with Jaime, or with anyone else and its all good, but for some reason, I just have a negative association about being around Ben. I feel like she favors him too, a little. We've become so close, and I just hate that she would choose him over me sometimes, as he can be a little bit selfish and shallow. I hate that this makes me seem so needy, posessive, and childish, but I just can't shake my annoyance over it. I don't really know what to do about it....and it will probably start coming up a lot since she moved right by his apartment. Hmmmm.

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