8 hours ago
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
New Life
Everything is different. And wonderful. Also, being back on the internet makes me feel like myself again.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tonight we will sleep in the car
I had to have an awkward talk with my parents last night about why I haven't been sleeping at home and reassure them that I'm doing splendidly in school. I hate how good of a liar I am.
Everything is sort of falling apart at the moment, except for having Jesse now. But I leave for Europe soon and it can only go uphill from there. I think I'm going to do a lot of life-changing when I get back. I may or may not go back to school next fall. We'll see.
I know I'm a little reckless and get caught up easily, but I don't care. That's how I am and I don't want to be different.
In other news, I'm meeting the parents tonight. I'm pretty nervous, but Jesse's mom has already told him she's sure she'll love me. So that has to be good right!? And I know I like his sister.
Then later - I told him we are going to the city and doing something fun. I can only handle being a bum watching tv & eating fast food at his house in Arnold so much. But he knows that.
Tomorrow- getting down to business preparing for my trip!! Craziness!
Everything is sort of falling apart at the moment, except for having Jesse now. But I leave for Europe soon and it can only go uphill from there. I think I'm going to do a lot of life-changing when I get back. I may or may not go back to school next fall. We'll see.
I know I'm a little reckless and get caught up easily, but I don't care. That's how I am and I don't want to be different.
In other news, I'm meeting the parents tonight. I'm pretty nervous, but Jesse's mom has already told him she's sure she'll love me. So that has to be good right!? And I know I like his sister.
Then later - I told him we are going to the city and doing something fun. I can only handle being a bum watching tv & eating fast food at his house in Arnold so much. But he knows that.
Tomorrow- getting down to business preparing for my trip!! Craziness!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Shining Ever So Bright
I've got four days of electronic music, sushi, hookah, frisbee, smoking, drinking, and closeness swirling around my head.
I think I'm a little bit out of my mind. I feel so far away from my normal routine and normal thinking. And wondering what I'm getting caught up in!? I'm a little freaked out if its not obvious.
I'm not ending it though...maybe more time spent sober and out and about would be good. I've never met anyone who I can talk so openly with and who isn't afraid to wear their heart on their sleeve like I do.Friday, April 17, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
i'm not alone
its super nice to have someone that calls ME all the time. And leaves voicemails like "hey sleeping beauty, just calling to make sure you got home ok last night!" And who I end up talking to on the phone until 2am without even realizing it....
BUT
i'm not getting attached. im not getting attached. im not getting attached!
In other news... my shoes haven't arrived yet, i've completely cut off a certain cunt of an irishman, and am planning a trip to Ireland with more american friends than I ever thought would come -- 4 of my best friends are meeting me there!
My focus is getting away from me with school though, which is bad, i'm getting too caught up in boys and trip-planning. So i'm trying to remind myself of what's important!
Today I'm getting organized, working on a paper that I should've started a long time ago, and then seeing a certain someone tonight (that i'm not attached to!).
BUT
i'm not getting attached. im not getting attached. im not getting attached!
In other news... my shoes haven't arrived yet, i've completely cut off a certain cunt of an irishman, and am planning a trip to Ireland with more american friends than I ever thought would come -- 4 of my best friends are meeting me there!
My focus is getting away from me with school though, which is bad, i'm getting too caught up in boys and trip-planning. So i'm trying to remind myself of what's important!
Today I'm getting organized, working on a paper that I should've started a long time ago, and then seeing a certain someone tonight (that i'm not attached to!).
Sunday, April 12, 2009
None of that
I'm going to have an experiment in not getting attached. To someone new. This is someone I'd never want to be with long term anyhow.
Just going to have fun!
Just going to have fun!
Stars in their Eyes
What a night that was. Super fun though.
Salsa dancing & Dubstepping all in one night. Lots of tequila shots.
And I didn't get home until 5am.
And I can't stop thinking about the happenings of the evening with a smile on my face.
Salsa dancing & Dubstepping all in one night. Lots of tequila shots.
And I didn't get home until 5am.
And I can't stop thinking about the happenings of the evening with a smile on my face.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game
Had a blind date last night. His name was Eric and he was extremely easy-going, funny, and the conversation flowed for 3 hours. However, I'm just not sure how attracted I am. But I think he is second-date-worthy.
Today is a very lazy friday. Christina is in town tonight, so we'll be doing something later. I kind of want some Mexican food and a margarita or three...
Tomorrow- salsa dancing with mandi, steven, and jesse (who i'm sort of being set up with). Jesse is one of Mandi's dj friends, which is cool. Last time I met him, we definitely had some flirtation, but he had a girlfriend. Not anymore!
Sunday is Easter and the fam is going to the Cards game -- we splurged and got box seats! I haven't been to a baseball game since I took Ciaran to his first one two years ago...
I'm also very excited that my newfound Austrian friend, Markus (from CouchSurfing.com) already has a customized list of places he wants to show me!!
Also - I found my passport -- which is a huge relief. I actually wasn't mentioning on here, or to anyone, that it was lost because I was so worried about it!
And finally - I'm no longer sure if the Hot Iranian is more than just a friend material. I can't picture being romantic with him... but you never know. There has been flirtation lately - so we'll see.
Today is a very lazy friday. Christina is in town tonight, so we'll be doing something later. I kind of want some Mexican food and a margarita or three...
Tomorrow- salsa dancing with mandi, steven, and jesse (who i'm sort of being set up with). Jesse is one of Mandi's dj friends, which is cool. Last time I met him, we definitely had some flirtation, but he had a girlfriend. Not anymore!
Sunday is Easter and the fam is going to the Cards game -- we splurged and got box seats! I haven't been to a baseball game since I took Ciaran to his first one two years ago...
I'm also very excited that my newfound Austrian friend, Markus (from CouchSurfing.com) already has a customized list of places he wants to show me!!
Also - I found my passport -- which is a huge relief. I actually wasn't mentioning on here, or to anyone, that it was lost because I was so worried about it!
And finally - I'm no longer sure if the Hot Iranian is more than just a friend material. I can't picture being romantic with him... but you never know. There has been flirtation lately - so we'll see.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Why?
oh man, i seriously need to work on not getting so attached. and having such a hard time de-taching. I didn't use to be like this...so I don't know why i'm like this now. The worst thing is that it just ends up being embarrassing, really. *sigh*
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
:)
I'm happy as a clam!
Why? Well, many reasons: new fun friends, planning a trip to Ireland, having a personal Viennese tour guide and potential friend waiting for me in Vienna, and a date on Thursday!
Das ist sehr gut!!!
Why? Well, many reasons: new fun friends, planning a trip to Ireland, having a personal Viennese tour guide and potential friend waiting for me in Vienna, and a date on Thursday!
Das ist sehr gut!!!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Bunnies & Cupcakes
Today I got a message on Okcupid that said:
"you're cuter than two bunnies fucking ontop of a pink cupcake!"
Best compliment of the day. (Although it came from a really weird dude with a lot of tattoos and piercings.)
Mmmm also makes me want to eat a pink cupcake (sans bunny sex).
"you're cuter than two bunnies fucking ontop of a pink cupcake!"
Best compliment of the day. (Although it came from a really weird dude with a lot of tattoos and piercings.)
Mmmm also makes me want to eat a pink cupcake (sans bunny sex).
Sunday, April 5, 2009
CouchSurfing
Okay, so I discovered Couchsurfing.com today. Well not discovered, I guess, since I've heard of it before, but really looked into it today. And it has actually been a great thing because its alleviating a lot of my stress about meeting people and having friends in Vienna.
At the cocktail party last night I realized the snobbiest girl, the one who intimidates me the most for some reason, this girl Annie, who is in all my classes, is going to Vienna. She is traveling every weekend with the one girl I already knew who is going that I thought was okay. I thought maybe she was someone who I could travel on the weekends with, or visit museums with... but if she is going to be with Annie, well then that's off.
I realize it's silly for me to get so worked up about this girl, simply because she is going to be in the same European city as me, or for me to be relying on one person to "be my friend." But I can't shake my annoyance and stress over it. I guess my biggest fear is just that I won't have anyone to travel or sightsee with.
So, anyway, back to Couchsurfing.com which is the solution to this problem. (I felt Annie had stolen the one potential friend I already knew). And my plan B, if i hated the other Americans was to make Austrian friends. Though, recently, I've been warned they are not very friendly. As in, when you speak to them randomly at a pub, or on the street they are weirded out since its not in their culture to talk to random people. So, I wasn't sure how to meet any local people. But this website is perfect. It's basically for a community of free-spirited, global-thinking type people who love meeting fellow travelers, hosting people from other countries, or staying with people they have never met. I was skeptical about actually doing couch-surfing before I looked into the site, but now I think I would actually do it. But, in Vienna, I'm just going to use it as a way to meet some local people. I've already messaged a few people my age on the site living in Vienna... so I really hope to hear back from them.
I also joined the site to advertise myself as someone willing to show around travelers to St. Louis. I think it could be a really fun way to meet new people.
Anyway, I'm so glad I found this site. I hope it's as great of a community of people as it seems to be, and I really hope I can make some Austrian friends.
Meeting the "locals" in Ireland and getting to know their culture from their perspective was what made that experience such an amazing one for me, and it'd be great to have a similar experience in Vienna.
At the cocktail party last night I realized the snobbiest girl, the one who intimidates me the most for some reason, this girl Annie, who is in all my classes, is going to Vienna. She is traveling every weekend with the one girl I already knew who is going that I thought was okay. I thought maybe she was someone who I could travel on the weekends with, or visit museums with... but if she is going to be with Annie, well then that's off.
I realize it's silly for me to get so worked up about this girl, simply because she is going to be in the same European city as me, or for me to be relying on one person to "be my friend." But I can't shake my annoyance and stress over it. I guess my biggest fear is just that I won't have anyone to travel or sightsee with.
So, anyway, back to Couchsurfing.com which is the solution to this problem. (I felt Annie had stolen the one potential friend I already knew). And my plan B, if i hated the other Americans was to make Austrian friends. Though, recently, I've been warned they are not very friendly. As in, when you speak to them randomly at a pub, or on the street they are weirded out since its not in their culture to talk to random people. So, I wasn't sure how to meet any local people. But this website is perfect. It's basically for a community of free-spirited, global-thinking type people who love meeting fellow travelers, hosting people from other countries, or staying with people they have never met. I was skeptical about actually doing couch-surfing before I looked into the site, but now I think I would actually do it. But, in Vienna, I'm just going to use it as a way to meet some local people. I've already messaged a few people my age on the site living in Vienna... so I really hope to hear back from them.
I also joined the site to advertise myself as someone willing to show around travelers to St. Louis. I think it could be a really fun way to meet new people.
Anyway, I'm so glad I found this site. I hope it's as great of a community of people as it seems to be, and I really hope I can make some Austrian friends.
Meeting the "locals" in Ireland and getting to know their culture from their perspective was what made that experience such an amazing one for me, and it'd be great to have a similar experience in Vienna.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Best Day in a Long Time!
I had such a great day!!!
Spent all afternoon with the Hot Iranian...he says the funniest things and is also one of the sweetest, most genuine people I've ever met! He also said he wanted to know everything about me, which is very endearing, but the phrasing could've been simply because of his English (he might not have meant it in such a romantic way as it sounded).
Tonight I went to Jeff's art history cocktail party which was okay...it was a little awkward, and felt a little... ehhh.."political" as Marisa put it. Jeff gave me absynthe(!?) which is actually disgusting... wish someone would've told me it tastes like black licorice.
Then Sarah, Marisa, and I went to an art opening at SLAM and got to hear the artist, Claudia Schmacke, speak --which was incredibly interesting. Then Marisa and I met up with her sister Ellie and her friend Luna for some Chinese. All-in-all a really fun night!
And I'd be lying if I said I didn't have suuuuuuuuuch a crush on a certain Iranian! :)
Spent all afternoon with the Hot Iranian...he says the funniest things and is also one of the sweetest, most genuine people I've ever met! He also said he wanted to know everything about me, which is very endearing, but the phrasing could've been simply because of his English (he might not have meant it in such a romantic way as it sounded).
Tonight I went to Jeff's art history cocktail party which was okay...it was a little awkward, and felt a little... ehhh.."political" as Marisa put it. Jeff gave me absynthe(!?) which is actually disgusting... wish someone would've told me it tastes like black licorice.
Then Sarah, Marisa, and I went to an art opening at SLAM and got to hear the artist, Claudia Schmacke, speak --which was incredibly interesting. Then Marisa and I met up with her sister Ellie and her friend Luna for some Chinese. All-in-all a really fun night!
And I'd be lying if I said I didn't have suuuuuuuuuch a crush on a certain Iranian! :)
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Baby, I'm bad news
Talk about epically failling to learn from the past. Today is cold hard evidence of that. I am stuck in a serious rut of bad habits that are making the transcript I'll have when I graduate look worse and worse.
I initially started crying, felt like this was the end of everything. Felt like a complete and utter failure, and a such an idiot for not learning from past mistakes.
I'm feeling better now, my ability to get past things surprises me. Or maybe my brain (which is tricky) is just blocking it out, because if I continued to comprehend what happened today I'd still be feeling pretty upset.
In the span of a two hour art class I went from miserable to doing ok. Spacey Stoner Blonde dude (who I've mentioned before) gave the most hilarious powerpoint presentation I've ever seen, which definitely helped my mood. He was purposely ridiculously cheesy - saying things like "don't take my word for it," and putting on fake voices when reading quotations. The entire class was cracking up.
And I spent some time talking to Marisa which helped, too. Oh! And I'm going hiking on Friday with Marisa, Sarah, Travis, Marisa's friend Luna, and last but not least...........the HOT IRANIAN!!! I'm pretty sure he was being flirty with me and I am not complaining!! The funny thing is Marisa, Shannon, and I are all more or less on the prowl for him! haha. (I'm glad Shannon's not going on Friday.)
I also found out today that I am getting more back from the insurance company for the accident settlement than previously thought... so that is very good news.
I have to meet with Prof. Gregg tonight and there is the possibility for more bad news, but I'm just hoping for the best, and trying to stay positive - I think thats the only way I can handle bad things happening like this...
I initially started crying, felt like this was the end of everything. Felt like a complete and utter failure, and a such an idiot for not learning from past mistakes.
I'm feeling better now, my ability to get past things surprises me. Or maybe my brain (which is tricky) is just blocking it out, because if I continued to comprehend what happened today I'd still be feeling pretty upset.
In the span of a two hour art class I went from miserable to doing ok. Spacey Stoner Blonde dude (who I've mentioned before) gave the most hilarious powerpoint presentation I've ever seen, which definitely helped my mood. He was purposely ridiculously cheesy - saying things like "don't take my word for it," and putting on fake voices when reading quotations. The entire class was cracking up.
And I spent some time talking to Marisa which helped, too. Oh! And I'm going hiking on Friday with Marisa, Sarah, Travis, Marisa's friend Luna, and last but not least...........the HOT IRANIAN!!! I'm pretty sure he was being flirty with me and I am not complaining!! The funny thing is Marisa, Shannon, and I are all more or less on the prowl for him! haha. (I'm glad Shannon's not going on Friday.)
I also found out today that I am getting more back from the insurance company for the accident settlement than previously thought... so that is very good news.
I have to meet with Prof. Gregg tonight and there is the possibility for more bad news, but I'm just hoping for the best, and trying to stay positive - I think thats the only way I can handle bad things happening like this...
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
To visit or not to visit....
I feel like crap today...emotionally.
I am so just blah, and put off by a certain irish fellow right now. I don't like to deal with someone who is so hot and cold, and inconsistent with me. I don't like being told I'm dramatic when I try to express my concerns. And to be honest, the idea of spending a week with him in Ireland does not sound appealing. I kind of just want to meet up with mandi & steven and travel around, and not even see Ciaran or have to spend time in the shittiest town in the world, Boyle. Ciaran feels I owe him a visit, but why should I try to please someone who has made me feel the shittiest I've ever felt about myself physically, and who generally was a prick to me.
Some advice I'd give to other people is learn from the past, but that is one area I epically fail at.
Also, if I am going to a country full of irish boys, why would I want to go back to Ciaran??????
I am so just blah, and put off by a certain irish fellow right now. I don't like to deal with someone who is so hot and cold, and inconsistent with me. I don't like being told I'm dramatic when I try to express my concerns. And to be honest, the idea of spending a week with him in Ireland does not sound appealing. I kind of just want to meet up with mandi & steven and travel around, and not even see Ciaran or have to spend time in the shittiest town in the world, Boyle. Ciaran feels I owe him a visit, but why should I try to please someone who has made me feel the shittiest I've ever felt about myself physically, and who generally was a prick to me.
Some advice I'd give to other people is learn from the past, but that is one area I epically fail at.
Also, if I am going to a country full of irish boys, why would I want to go back to Ciaran??????
Friday Don't Need It
Things I Like...
-When a semi-famous indie pop band of cute british boys posts semi-regularly (3 times is semi-regularly!) on my myspace (I'm pretty sure I have the distinction of being their singular American fan, and I'll take it!!!)
-Seeing a commercial produced by my Dad airing during late night TV on E!
Things I'm Not Sure How I Feel About......
-My advisor/head of the art history dept. inviting me to a cocktail party for all the majors at his house
-Being told by a couple from Vienna who came into work tonight to "NOT GO ALONE" to their city of origin... though they hadn't been back in 50 years... so what do they know....
Tomorrow:
-Meeting with Prof. Gregg to grovel for missing more than few classes and figure out what to do about this damn research paper.
-Hanging out with Marisa in the Dada Lab to get some schooling in Photoshop so I can finish my photo project (Hot Iranian is coming to help me too!!!!!)
-When a semi-famous indie pop band of cute british boys posts semi-regularly (3 times is semi-regularly!) on my myspace (I'm pretty sure I have the distinction of being their singular American fan, and I'll take it!!!)
-Seeing a commercial produced by my Dad airing during late night TV on E!
Things I'm Not Sure How I Feel About......
-My advisor/head of the art history dept. inviting me to a cocktail party for all the majors at his house
-Being told by a couple from Vienna who came into work tonight to "NOT GO ALONE" to their city of origin... though they hadn't been back in 50 years... so what do they know....
Tomorrow:
-Meeting with Prof. Gregg to grovel for missing more than few classes and figure out what to do about this damn research paper.
-Hanging out with Marisa in the Dada Lab to get some schooling in Photoshop so I can finish my photo project (Hot Iranian is coming to help me too!!!!!)
Monday, March 30, 2009
Maybe One Day I'll go to All My Classes
I missed a class today that I CANNOT miss. So I'm trying to take care of it, but I'm getting very stressed about it. I can't ever just have a good week, can I?
In other news, a certain attractive Iranian (not one of the creepy middle eastern dudes I sometimes speak of, but the dark and brooding fellow from this post) saw that I was fumbling around in Photoshop since I am clueless in how to use it, and offered to meet with me tomorrow to help and also added me on facebook today! Although, I am pretty sure he has a girlfriend.
Also, Carol, who called me out on not coming to class via facebook, welcomed me back to class with a hug today. So as of now, I'd probably say she is my favorite teacher. A little nuts, but my favorite.
Now i have to get ready to go to work! :/
In other news, a certain attractive Iranian (not one of the creepy middle eastern dudes I sometimes speak of, but the dark and brooding fellow from this post) saw that I was fumbling around in Photoshop since I am clueless in how to use it, and offered to meet with me tomorrow to help and also added me on facebook today! Although, I am pretty sure he has a girlfriend.
Also, Carol, who called me out on not coming to class via facebook, welcomed me back to class with a hug today. So as of now, I'd probably say she is my favorite teacher. A little nuts, but my favorite.
Now i have to get ready to go to work! :/
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Best Summer Ever!!
There's nothing in life that makes me happier than traveling, and there's no continent I love more than the European one! And thats exactly what I'll be doing all summer!!!!!!
I'll be in what is arguably the art history paradise of Europe for 8 weeks--Vienna, Austria, and then spending 10 days in a place that I've dreamed about going back to for two years -- Ireland!
I am very excited, but more feeling nervous right now because there is so much preparation to do in a very short time before I leave, which is May 11!!!!
I'm also still nervous about the fact that I am going without knowing anyone, really. But I'm trying to get over that, because its getting in the way of looking forward to being in Europe!!
I'm just trying to tell myself that it's an adventure, I'll learn a ton in the classes I'll be taking, I'll hang out with the locals or foreign students if I hate the Americans, and if nothing else, I'll just go spend all my time wandering art museums!
And knowing that I for sure will be back in Ireland is also an amazing feeling. It's surreal. I've literally dreamed about and yearned to go back to that place ever since the day I left it the first time. I could probably relate any topic or conversation back to Ireland (and I do all the time, which I'm sure annoys the hell out of people! ha, but I don't care!).
Mandi and Steven are also coming to visit me in Ireland at the end of my trip which will be fantastic. Ciaran is being a little bit weird about them coming, but I know it will be great.
Claire and possibly Jaime are thinking about visiting as well. As are my parents, and possibly my Aunt Kelley and Uncle Ken. It's awesome to know I'll have so many visitors!!!
EEEEEEEEEEE all this wonderfulness just makes me giddy!!!!!!
I'll be in what is arguably the art history paradise of Europe for 8 weeks--Vienna, Austria, and then spending 10 days in a place that I've dreamed about going back to for two years -- Ireland!
I am very excited, but more feeling nervous right now because there is so much preparation to do in a very short time before I leave, which is May 11!!!!
I'm also still nervous about the fact that I am going without knowing anyone, really. But I'm trying to get over that, because its getting in the way of looking forward to being in Europe!!
I'm just trying to tell myself that it's an adventure, I'll learn a ton in the classes I'll be taking, I'll hang out with the locals or foreign students if I hate the Americans, and if nothing else, I'll just go spend all my time wandering art museums!
And knowing that I for sure will be back in Ireland is also an amazing feeling. It's surreal. I've literally dreamed about and yearned to go back to that place ever since the day I left it the first time. I could probably relate any topic or conversation back to Ireland (and I do all the time, which I'm sure annoys the hell out of people! ha, but I don't care!).
Mandi and Steven are also coming to visit me in Ireland at the end of my trip which will be fantastic. Ciaran is being a little bit weird about them coming, but I know it will be great.
Claire and possibly Jaime are thinking about visiting as well. As are my parents, and possibly my Aunt Kelley and Uncle Ken. It's awesome to know I'll have so many visitors!!!
EEEEEEEEEEE all this wonderfulness just makes me giddy!!!!!!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Coincidence??? I think Not!
"Erin is taken from the Gaelic Eirinn, meaning "of Eire" - Eire being the Irish name for Ireland. Erin was used as a poetic name for Ireland for several centuries but it is not normally bestowed as a given name in that country."
from babynamesworld.com
from babynamesworld.com
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UNITED AIRLINES / LUFTHANSA AIRLINES
St.Louis to Vienna connects at Chicago O'Hare and Frankfurt:
*UA8048W 11MAY MO STL to ORD 1146A 101P
LH 431W 11MAY MO ORD to FRA 345P 655A#1 (arrives May 12)
LH3530W 12MAY TU FRA to VIE 850A 1010A
I'll be on those flights and I'M SO FUCKING GIDDY WITH EXCITEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!
St.Louis to Vienna connects at Chicago O'Hare and Frankfurt:
*UA8048W 11MAY MO STL to ORD 1146A 101P
LH 431W 11MAY MO ORD to FRA 345P 655A#1 (arrives May 12)
LH3530W 12MAY TU FRA to VIE 850A 1010A
I'll be on those flights and I'M SO FUCKING GIDDY WITH EXCITEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!
"Are you from Turkey??"
Middle Eastern men effing love me!
It's strange, but I'll take the ego boost, I suppose.
The one tonight was actually cute, and not creepy... hmmm.
It's strange, but I'll take the ego boost, I suppose.
The one tonight was actually cute, and not creepy... hmmm.
Friday, March 27, 2009
If you think your day was bad....
I just discovered FMyLIfe.com and it is fucking hilarious!
A few gems:
Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I was arrested because my 6 year old son called the police saying that I was hitting my wife and that she was crying. My wife and I were having sex. FML
Today, my wife went to the hospital because she had been gaining weight recently and had missed her period the last three months. We thought it was menopause. Turns out she's pregnant. I've been sterile since the day I was born. FML
Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML
Today, a co-worker and I walked out of our office at the same time. He got in his car, which was parked right out front. I asked him what I had to do to get a sweet parking spot like that. He proceeded to roll up his pant leg and show me his prosthesis. He was in the handicapped spot. FML
A few gems:
Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I was arrested because my 6 year old son called the police saying that I was hitting my wife and that she was crying. My wife and I were having sex. FML
Today, my wife went to the hospital because she had been gaining weight recently and had missed her period the last three months. We thought it was menopause. Turns out she's pregnant. I've been sterile since the day I was born. FML
Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML
Today, a co-worker and I walked out of our office at the same time. He got in his car, which was parked right out front. I asked him what I had to do to get a sweet parking spot like that. He proceeded to roll up his pant leg and show me his prosthesis. He was in the handicapped spot. FML
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Meet My Son, Galahad
Ok, so I'm going to stop being a drama queen like I was being about two posts ago, and some before that, as well. The cause of unhappy feelings has been cut out of my life, and I'm glad I did it. I hate wasting time lamenting over the past or being just plain unhappy. Life's too short as they say.
I met with Emily finally today and I'm glad I did. She always puts things in perspective for me. She told me she is graduating this semester, so I'm kind of sad. But who knows, maybe I won't need counseling in 6 weeks. Or maybe I'll see her at wherever she'll be working? We'll see a lot can happen in that amount of time.
I just read an article about someone with the name Galahad. That is a pretty sweet name. I think I'll name my firstborn child that. I'm serious.
I did some impulsive shopping today. I went to River City Natural Foods Market - my favorite organic store, and got a bunch of organic bath and body products. I also just purchased a bunch from the Garnier Nutritioniste line at Walgreens --the anti sun damage day cream, the night cream, and the anti-puff eye roller. We'll see... I already knew I liked the regular day lotion. It all smells really nice, too.
I met with Emily finally today and I'm glad I did. She always puts things in perspective for me. She told me she is graduating this semester, so I'm kind of sad. But who knows, maybe I won't need counseling in 6 weeks. Or maybe I'll see her at wherever she'll be working? We'll see a lot can happen in that amount of time.
I just read an article about someone with the name Galahad. That is a pretty sweet name. I think I'll name my firstborn child that. I'm serious.
I did some impulsive shopping today. I went to River City Natural Foods Market - my favorite organic store, and got a bunch of organic bath and body products. I also just purchased a bunch from the Garnier Nutritioniste line at Walgreens --the anti sun damage day cream, the night cream, and the anti-puff eye roller. We'll see... I already knew I liked the regular day lotion. It all smells really nice, too.
Fool Me Twice, Shame on Me
Someone who lets me walk out of their life that easily has no place in mine.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
People Don't Change
I can't let myself get caught up in this stuff with anybody,
I need to take a lesson in learning from the past.
I've passed up two perfectly decent guys to be tangled up with ex-es, and i have to remember there's a reason why those relationships ended in the first place. Thank goodness for blunt friends with good memories.
I need to take a lesson in learning from the past.
I've passed up two perfectly decent guys to be tangled up with ex-es, and i have to remember there's a reason why those relationships ended in the first place. Thank goodness for blunt friends with good memories.
SHIT
What is the world coming to when your professor finds you on facebook and sends you a message that says "Now that I know where to find you, get to class!"
EEK.
EEK.
Gotta get it together
(When I post continuously like it's nobody's business it probably means I'm avoiding lots of other things I need to be accomplishing.)
(And I'm shamelessly internet-addicted, as previously mentioned.)
(And I'm shamelessly internet-addicted, as previously mentioned.)
Life without shisha sure does go fruitless
Riyad, the owner of my favorite hookah bar, somehow located me on facebook a couple months ago.
Today two random middle eastern men requested to be my facebook friend. One, known as Fayiz from Jordan, added me. It said we had one mutual friend, which was Riyad. Then Fayiz's friend Mohammed from Bahrain added me. And now, as I type this "Mohammed" is writing on my wall and messaging me. And fb chatted me saying: "I am Mohamed from the Kingdom of Bahrain, please, tell me abour urself?"
His profile says under political views: Arab Socialist Baath Party.
This amuses me for now, but I sense I should delete one or both soon.
Middle Eastern men love me. I have an Egyptian admirer at the hookah bar, as well.
Oh man this conversation is entertaining...
3:50pm Mohammad: hi
3:50pmErin
hi, how did you find my profile
3:51pmMohammad
by chance
3:51pmErin
i see
have you been to the states before?
3:51pmMohammad
no
3:51pmErin
i've never been to jordan either
3:51pmMohammad
It is one of my dream
U R Welcome
3:52pmMohammad
Im Jordanian but Im working as a lecturer in Bahrain
3:54pmMohammad
ok
Tell me about yourself . please??/
3:54pmErin
i study art history
3:55pmMohammad
at the uni??
3:56pmErin
yes, at the uni
3:56pmMohammad
good
How old r u ?or it is a secret ??
3:57pmErin
no secret, 22
and you
3:58pmMohammad
I dont belive this
I think u r 15 or less
3:58pmErin
well why would you message a 15 year old girl?
3:58pmMohammad
you have a baby face
No problem
Im 26
3:59pmErin
i dont think it is normal for a 26 year old to chat up a 15 year old
4:00pmMohammad
what does u mean ???
4:00pmErin
Nevermind
4:00pmMohammad
ok darling
what a bout your family ????
4:01pmErin
My mother is a CEO of a major corporation and my father stays at home to cook and clean
4:01pmMohammad
ok
my father is a retired teacher
I have 4 sis and 3 broth
My father have a store in St .Marteen Island
It is near USA
4:04pmErin
whereabouts?
we are a small country so i probably am near to it
4:04pmMohammad
WHAT ????
what about your state ???
4:05pmErin
where is st. marteen
4:05pmMohammad
it is an island in the karabi Sea
4:06pmErin
where is the karabi sea?
4:06pmMohammad
sorry but im not good at geography
Im rinking Pepsi
Do u want to share me ???
4:07pmErin
share you?
4:08pmMohammad
drinking Pepsi ??
4:08pmErin
i prefer Coke
4:08pmMohammad
what coke ???
4:09pmErin
coca cola
4:09pmMohammad
OK
4:09pmErin
you have heard of it?
4:09pmMohammad
ya
I know coca
Now im taking Shisha
4:10pmErin
ah, we call it hookah here
one of my favorite activities
4:10pmMohammad
righ
ys
It is my prefarable event every day
4:11pmErin
i would agree, it is my preferable event also
4:11pmMohammad
Sharing me ????
4:11pmErin
uh, no smoking hookah
4:11pmMohammad
so nice
Life without shisha goes fruitless
4:12pmErin
This is true.
4:12pmMohammad
Your birthday is after 1 month nearly ???
4:13pmErin
yes, it is
4:13pmMohammad
Happy Bithday from now to 24-5
4:13pmErin
thank you
4:14pm Mohammad
ok
what about time now ???
4:14pmErin
??
4:15pmMohammad
the oclock ???
4:15pmErin
ah yes, the o'clock
it is 4:15 pm
and the time in Bahrain?
4:15pmMohammad
it is 1.15 After mid
4:15pmErin
i see, you are up late
4:15pmMohammad
no
Because I have only 2 lessons only
4:16pmErin
i see
well i should go now
enjoy your shisha
4:17pmMohammad
and it is unbelivable chance t talk with you
ok
have a nice time
4:18pmMohammad
can I chat u tomorrow ???
4:18pmErin
perhaps, we'll see
4:18pmMohammad
thanks , c u
4:18pmMohammad
salam
Among many other reasons why this is humorous, I think it's funny that he teaches English!
Today two random middle eastern men requested to be my facebook friend. One, known as Fayiz from Jordan, added me. It said we had one mutual friend, which was Riyad. Then Fayiz's friend Mohammed from Bahrain added me. And now, as I type this "Mohammed" is writing on my wall and messaging me. And fb chatted me saying: "I am Mohamed from the Kingdom of Bahrain, please, tell me abour urself?"
His profile says under political views: Arab Socialist Baath Party.
This amuses me for now, but I sense I should delete one or both soon.
Middle Eastern men love me. I have an Egyptian admirer at the hookah bar, as well.
Oh man this conversation is entertaining...
3:50pm Mohammad: hi
3:50pmErin
hi, how did you find my profile
3:51pmMohammad
by chance
3:51pmErin
i see
have you been to the states before?
3:51pmMohammad
no
3:51pmErin
i've never been to jordan either
3:51pmMohammad
It is one of my dream
U R Welcome
3:52pmMohammad
Im Jordanian but Im working as a lecturer in Bahrain
3:54pmMohammad
ok
Tell me about yourself . please??/
3:54pmErin
i study art history
3:55pmMohammad
at the uni??
3:56pmErin
yes, at the uni
3:56pmMohammad
good
How old r u ?or it is a secret ??
3:57pmErin
no secret, 22
and you
3:58pmMohammad
I dont belive this
I think u r 15 or less
3:58pmErin
well why would you message a 15 year old girl?
3:58pmMohammad
you have a baby face
No problem
Im 26
3:59pmErin
i dont think it is normal for a 26 year old to chat up a 15 year old
4:00pmMohammad
what does u mean ???
4:00pmErin
Nevermind
4:00pmMohammad
ok darling
what a bout your family ????
4:01pmErin
My mother is a CEO of a major corporation and my father stays at home to cook and clean
4:01pmMohammad
ok
my father is a retired teacher
I have 4 sis and 3 broth
My father have a store in St .Marteen Island
It is near USA
4:04pmErin
whereabouts?
we are a small country so i probably am near to it
4:04pmMohammad
WHAT ????
what about your state ???
4:05pmErin
where is st. marteen
4:05pmMohammad
it is an island in the karabi Sea
4:06pmErin
where is the karabi sea?
4:06pmMohammad
sorry but im not good at geography
Im rinking Pepsi
Do u want to share me ???
4:07pmErin
share you?
4:08pmMohammad
drinking Pepsi ??
4:08pmErin
i prefer Coke
4:08pmMohammad
what coke ???
4:09pmErin
coca cola
4:09pmMohammad
OK
4:09pmErin
you have heard of it?
4:09pmMohammad
ya
I know coca
Now im taking Shisha
4:10pmErin
ah, we call it hookah here
one of my favorite activities
4:10pmMohammad
righ
ys
It is my prefarable event every day
4:11pmErin
i would agree, it is my preferable event also
4:11pmMohammad
Sharing me ????
4:11pmErin
uh, no smoking hookah
4:11pmMohammad
so nice
Life without shisha goes fruitless
4:12pmErin
This is true.
4:12pmMohammad
Your birthday is after 1 month nearly ???
4:13pmErin
yes, it is
4:13pmMohammad
Happy Bithday from now to 24-5
4:13pmErin
thank you
4:14pm Mohammad
ok
what about time now ???
4:14pmErin
??
4:15pmMohammad
the oclock ???
4:15pmErin
ah yes, the o'clock
it is 4:15 pm
and the time in Bahrain?
4:15pmMohammad
it is 1.15 After mid
4:15pmErin
i see, you are up late
4:15pmMohammad
no
Because I have only 2 lessons only
4:16pmErin
i see
well i should go now
enjoy your shisha
4:17pmMohammad
and it is unbelivable chance t talk with you
ok
have a nice time
4:18pmMohammad
can I chat u tomorrow ???
4:18pmErin
perhaps, we'll see
4:18pmMohammad
thanks , c u
4:18pmMohammad
salam
Among many other reasons why this is humorous, I think it's funny that he teaches English!
Renaissance Shmenaissance
I'm really intrigued by Harlem Renaissance art. (Read about in Bob's artblog). I intend to read up on it more when I can. 
Aaron Douglas, Drama, 1930
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James Van der Zee, Dancing Girls, 1928
Archibald Motley, Jr., Saturday Night, 1935
Aaron Douglas, Drama, 1930 James Van der Zee, Dancing Girls, 1928 Archibald Motley, Jr., Saturday Night, 1935BUT have to research this painting right now... from the first-time-around Renaissance. (Which isn't always my cup of tea...)
Titian, Diana and Actaeon, 1556
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I am Not a Robot
Wow, sometimes you think you know someone so well, but there are some things you never realize. Claire just got really pissed at me about something, but it was based on something she was insecure about, of which I had no idea.
Anyway, its worked out now. And I guess its good that it led to us having a pretty good talk. Had one last night, too.
Lately I feel very secure and happy in my social/personal life. Even in my job (which i thought i was close to losing, more on that later), but suddenly things are not so great with school again. why do i always let this happen??? I've been avoiding Emily b/c I don't want to talk about it and admit things... but I need to see her on Thursday. I always tell myself to just let school be my priority, to just focus on that, but it seems the thing that always gets put to the backburner so easily. So I'm kind of mad at myself.
As a result, I have some catching up to do in two of my classes and its stressing me out, and the more stressed I am the more I just want to avoid everything. It's a nasty cycle. But I've been doing so well this semester, and I don't want to ruin it now, at the end. If I can just get through I have Vienna and then my final year to look forward to!
Anyway, with work. I wrote a pretty blunt honest email to my boss last night, about some "indiscretions" on my part that I knew she was avoiding bringing up with me. And I wasn't sure how she'd react. But she wrote back a really nice email that made me feel a lot better and secure in my job. I think she is such a passive, non-confrontational person that she was just so relieved that I was the one to bring things up, and she didn't have to address me herself. But atleast maybe now she knows I dont jump to the defensive when confronted, I handle things calmly.
And I'm proud of myself for being so straightforward, honest, and open to discuss things - I've been that way a lot lately, with basically everyone I'm close to. And it is definitely something I pride myself on.
Another deep thought I've been having tonight is how much I'd like to eat some meat... maybe some beef brisket, or some barbequed chicken, or a juicy hamburger... I must have a protein or iron deficiency or something... b/c I NEVER crave meat... this all started on St. Patrick's Day because of a certain person feeding me pork which i never eat! hmmm.
Also, I really like the new colors I have chosen for my layout here. Sehr schön.
Anyway, its worked out now. And I guess its good that it led to us having a pretty good talk. Had one last night, too.
Lately I feel very secure and happy in my social/personal life. Even in my job (which i thought i was close to losing, more on that later), but suddenly things are not so great with school again. why do i always let this happen??? I've been avoiding Emily b/c I don't want to talk about it and admit things... but I need to see her on Thursday. I always tell myself to just let school be my priority, to just focus on that, but it seems the thing that always gets put to the backburner so easily. So I'm kind of mad at myself.
As a result, I have some catching up to do in two of my classes and its stressing me out, and the more stressed I am the more I just want to avoid everything. It's a nasty cycle. But I've been doing so well this semester, and I don't want to ruin it now, at the end. If I can just get through I have Vienna and then my final year to look forward to!
Anyway, with work. I wrote a pretty blunt honest email to my boss last night, about some "indiscretions" on my part that I knew she was avoiding bringing up with me. And I wasn't sure how she'd react. But she wrote back a really nice email that made me feel a lot better and secure in my job. I think she is such a passive, non-confrontational person that she was just so relieved that I was the one to bring things up, and she didn't have to address me herself. But atleast maybe now she knows I dont jump to the defensive when confronted, I handle things calmly.
And I'm proud of myself for being so straightforward, honest, and open to discuss things - I've been that way a lot lately, with basically everyone I'm close to. And it is definitely something I pride myself on.
Another deep thought I've been having tonight is how much I'd like to eat some meat... maybe some beef brisket, or some barbequed chicken, or a juicy hamburger... I must have a protein or iron deficiency or something... b/c I NEVER crave meat... this all started on St. Patrick's Day because of a certain person feeding me pork which i never eat! hmmm.
Also, I really like the new colors I have chosen for my layout here. Sehr schön.
Monday, March 23, 2009
I guess I do Regret....
I'm a little sad.
I liked being friends, but I guess it's ruined.
What can you do I guess.....
I liked being friends, but I guess it's ruined.
What can you do I guess.....
I crack myself up
Dad: Look what one of our vendors from work sent me for St. Patrick's Day!
*Hands me silver coin with with clover on it*
Me: What is it?
Dad: I guess it's like a lucky charm type thing.
Me: *sigh* You're always after those.
*Hands me silver coin with with clover on it*
Me: What is it?
Dad: I guess it's like a lucky charm type thing.
Me: *sigh* You're always after those.
If I See a Man Waving
I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy hearing "you're cute as a button, ya are" from an Irishman with a charming accent. hmmmmm.
Today I realized the bailouts have benefited me directly. So enough of all this whining about how bad it is....because I'm Main Street, bitches.
CitiGroup was bailed out...and thus required to help its customers, so they cut me an amazing deal with my account. They took off all interest and fees, and I only have to pay $53 a month! And from what I've heard none of the other companies are really doing this...people have said I'm lucky to get such a deal. So, I thank Mr. Obama. I'm not a hater. I'm ok with economic stimulus plans.
Also took a mental health day today....
Both my parents had the day off as well. My grandma and grandpa stopped over here since my Dad was taking them to my grandma's appt. with the heart surgeon. And I seriously have the cutest, funniest grandma ever. You'd think she was going to the county fair and not a doctor's appt. b/c she was just happy as a clam! Laughing, and giving Bonnie treats. Showing us her leg bends she does for physical therapy. Asking what we think of her new haircut! She is the bubbliest most talkative 83 year old i know! So funny!
Anywho, I need to think of something productive to do before work this evening.... start research for Ren. paper? Paint nails? Do Laundry?
Today I realized the bailouts have benefited me directly. So enough of all this whining about how bad it is....because I'm Main Street, bitches.
CitiGroup was bailed out...and thus required to help its customers, so they cut me an amazing deal with my account. They took off all interest and fees, and I only have to pay $53 a month! And from what I've heard none of the other companies are really doing this...people have said I'm lucky to get such a deal. So, I thank Mr. Obama. I'm not a hater. I'm ok with economic stimulus plans.
Also took a mental health day today....
Both my parents had the day off as well. My grandma and grandpa stopped over here since my Dad was taking them to my grandma's appt. with the heart surgeon. And I seriously have the cutest, funniest grandma ever. You'd think she was going to the county fair and not a doctor's appt. b/c she was just happy as a clam! Laughing, and giving Bonnie treats. Showing us her leg bends she does for physical therapy. Asking what we think of her new haircut! She is the bubbliest most talkative 83 year old i know! So funny!
Anywho, I need to think of something productive to do before work this evening.... start research for Ren. paper? Paint nails? Do Laundry?
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Sunday Night
My date for last night had to cancel, but that is quite alright because what I did end up doing was much more entertaining, I'm sure.
So, TWO dates this week! One is the one from Sat. and the other is even cuter, I think. Both tall. One is more attractive, but one seems to have a more interesting personality. So we'll see.
In other news - I'm anti-twitter.
I watched The Strangers tonight and had to cover my eyes. Creeeeepyyyy.
I just can't handle horror films apparently.
I just saw a commercial for Twilight being out on DVD at Target -- do they really need to advertise???
Anywho, I hate that it's almost Monday already. Better go do some productive shite before I go to bed.
So, TWO dates this week! One is the one from Sat. and the other is even cuter, I think. Both tall. One is more attractive, but one seems to have a more interesting personality. So we'll see.
In other news - I'm anti-twitter.
I watched The Strangers tonight and had to cover my eyes. Creeeeepyyyy.
I just can't handle horror films apparently.
I just saw a commercial for Twilight being out on DVD at Target -- do they really need to advertise???
Anywho, I hate that it's almost Monday already. Better go do some productive shite before I go to bed.
The Lanky Bastard in Fly Eye Specs
Calvin Harris is so hot that he deserves not one, but TWO blog posts.
Yes, I'm obsessed. And I don't usually get fan-ish about anyone. But this dude is great, and sexier than Rob Pattinson.
Seriously though - his new song is fucking amazing. I predict it'll be big. (TWSS).
Let's just enjoy some more photos of him....
Yes, I'm obsessed. And I don't usually get fan-ish about anyone. But this dude is great, and sexier than Rob Pattinson.
Seriously though - his new song is fucking amazing. I predict it'll be big. (TWSS).
Let's just enjoy some more photos of him....
Insert Katy Perry Song Title Here
Oh man. what a night.
-Girls.
-Red wine.
-Making out.
-"crunk"-enness.
-Boobs.
-Random 40 year old's birthday party.
God.
Quote of the night: "GEORGE CLOONEY - GET YOUR BINOCULARS OUT, LOOK AT ME, I DON'T HAVE A SHIRT ON!!!!"
Fun times though.
I couldn't find my car for like 20 minutes after I left Claire's apartment because I'd forgotten that I let Christina drive it and had no clue where she parked it.
Now I think it's time for a nap.
-Girls.
-Red wine.
-Making out.
-"crunk"-enness.
-Boobs.
-Random 40 year old's birthday party.
God.
Quote of the night: "GEORGE CLOONEY - GET YOUR BINOCULARS OUT, LOOK AT ME, I DON'T HAVE A SHIRT ON!!!!"
Fun times though.
I couldn't find my car for like 20 minutes after I left Claire's apartment because I'd forgotten that I let Christina drive it and had no clue where she parked it.
Now I think it's time for a nap.
Friday, March 20, 2009
I'm glad I was born in the 80s
I have a little bit of a crush on Calvin Harris.
He spins excellently, is 6'5" (!!), has a hot deep voice, funky style, and is, most importantly, SCOTTISH.
And just look at him.
Fucking hot.
His videos are pretty sweet, too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nh2oseTibx4&feature=PlayList&p=BABD92EA04681063&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhUcSbbURyc&feature=related
I'm more than a little obsessed with his new single, "I'm Not Alone." also.
(the only one i could embed!)
AND listen to his sexy accent here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvxL4Jcqoc0&feature=channel_page
He spins excellently, is 6'5" (!!), has a hot deep voice, funky style, and is, most importantly, SCOTTISH.
And just look at him.
Fucking hot.
His videos are pretty sweet, too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nh2oseTibx4&feature=PlayList&p=BABD92EA04681063&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhUcSbbURyc&feature=related
I'm more than a little obsessed with his new single, "I'm Not Alone." also.
(the only one i could embed!)
AND listen to his sexy accent here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvxL4Jcqoc0&feature=channel_page
Done Moved On
I ditched my optional noon lecture to join Claire for a delicious Mexican meal today. I had a crab meat quesadilla.
Now, i have to work in a bit. And again in the morning. BUT I might have a date tomorrow night, which is exciting! With a tall 26 year old who manages an opera! We'll see what happens.
Also had a nice time having coffee with Beth last night. Her dog is adorably precious, but is a little crazy and obnoxious. It literally chewed a corner off the wall in the span of an hour that I was at her house. Oh man.
A tune for your listening pleasure:
Now, i have to work in a bit. And again in the morning. BUT I might have a date tomorrow night, which is exciting! With a tall 26 year old who manages an opera! We'll see what happens.
Also had a nice time having coffee with Beth last night. Her dog is adorably precious, but is a little crazy and obnoxious. It literally chewed a corner off the wall in the span of an hour that I was at her house. Oh man.
A tune for your listening pleasure:
Schmoopy Woopy Loverboys
Sarah just called and left me a voicemail saying:
"So, just had to tell you that I saw your schmoopy woopy loverboy today and invited him to go to a gallery opening with Travis and I tomorrow night, so if you're free you should definitely come!"
F'ing Hell! I have to work tomorrow night... and will not get to hang out with a certain dark and brooding Iranian from our studio class. Although she didnt specify which "shmoopy whoopy loverboy" she was referring to, so she could also mean a certain blonde stoner-ish spacey dude, as well. Either way I'm bitter that I'll be answering the phones at Massage Envy instead.
"So, just had to tell you that I saw your schmoopy woopy loverboy today and invited him to go to a gallery opening with Travis and I tomorrow night, so if you're free you should definitely come!"
F'ing Hell! I have to work tomorrow night... and will not get to hang out with a certain dark and brooding Iranian from our studio class. Although she didnt specify which "shmoopy whoopy loverboy" she was referring to, so she could also mean a certain blonde stoner-ish spacey dude, as well. Either way I'm bitter that I'll be answering the phones at Massage Envy instead.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Ex-boyfriends
Josh just called me for the first time in forever. Granted, it was because his girlfriend broke up with him, but I'm not complaining, because I genuinely did miss hearing from him. He sounded pretty bummed, but it was still good to catch up. And he did apologize for calling under those circumstances.
It's kinda crazy that suddenly in three days I am on great terms with all my ex-es. Ciaran also called me last night and gave a really genuine, kind apology for everything in the last few months. He really hit the nail on the head as to what he did to hurt me, and was really sorry for it. So I appreciated that.
Who knows what could happen, as it can be hard to stay friends with ex-es, but it has always been something that is important to me. It might seem strange, or unhealthy to some to keep around ex-boyfriends as friends. But I don't think I'm doing it for some weird psychological reason, I think I just care for all of them as people, enjoy their company, and conversation - and trust their advice. And I hope they all think the same of me.
It's kinda crazy that suddenly in three days I am on great terms with all my ex-es. Ciaran also called me last night and gave a really genuine, kind apology for everything in the last few months. He really hit the nail on the head as to what he did to hurt me, and was really sorry for it. So I appreciated that.
Who knows what could happen, as it can be hard to stay friends with ex-es, but it has always been something that is important to me. It might seem strange, or unhealthy to some to keep around ex-boyfriends as friends. But I don't think I'm doing it for some weird psychological reason, I think I just care for all of them as people, enjoy their company, and conversation - and trust their advice. And I hope they all think the same of me.
Well It Takes a Strong Man Baby
Had a fabulous last few days:
-A much needed Monday night
-A happily drunken and random St. Pat's
-Skipping school Weds. to see Coraline
More thoughts - but they cannot all be written here! But basically - no regrets, I think the key to happiness is staying realistic (about myself and others). I used to be such an idealist, and that led to being disappointed very easily. I'm learning how to appreciate a whole person - good and bad (and this is not necessarily referring to one specific person). And how to embrace and deal with my own qualities... awkwardness, and always saying what I feel not excluded.
Also - my confidence has been mostly restored. (as opposed to how i was feeling here)
Anywho - Coraline was actually really good! Visually stimulating, creative, and a delightful story. I think my favorite character was the Russian circus dude - Mr. Bolanski? (Botonski?) ...can't recall his name.
Currently downloading some fantastic tracks:
Dananananakroyd – Black Wax (how can you NOT like a band who has that name??)
Franz Ferdinand – No You Girls
Hockey- Too Fake
The Boy Least Likely To - Faith
Calvin Harris – I’m Not Alone
Frankmusik – Better Off as Two
MSTRKRFT feat E4– Click Click
Bombay Bicycle Club – Always Like This
The Boy Least Likely To – Every Goliath Has Its David
Dutch Uncles-Steadycam
[Don't be jealous of my amazing taste]
I'd say this song will be on repeat for awhile (I have just fallen in love with it!):
(This youtube version is pretty shitty quality - but its the only one I could find)
-A much needed Monday night
-A happily drunken and random St. Pat's
-Skipping school Weds. to see Coraline
More thoughts - but they cannot all be written here! But basically - no regrets, I think the key to happiness is staying realistic (about myself and others). I used to be such an idealist, and that led to being disappointed very easily. I'm learning how to appreciate a whole person - good and bad (and this is not necessarily referring to one specific person). And how to embrace and deal with my own qualities... awkwardness, and always saying what I feel not excluded.
Also - my confidence has been mostly restored. (as opposed to how i was feeling here)
Anywho - Coraline was actually really good! Visually stimulating, creative, and a delightful story. I think my favorite character was the Russian circus dude - Mr. Bolanski? (Botonski?) ...can't recall his name.
Currently downloading some fantastic tracks:
Dananananakroyd – Black Wax (how can you NOT like a band who has that name??)
Franz Ferdinand – No You Girls
Hockey- Too Fake
The Boy Least Likely To - Faith
Calvin Harris – I’m Not Alone
Frankmusik – Better Off as Two
MSTRKRFT feat E4– Click Click
Bombay Bicycle Club – Always Like This
The Boy Least Likely To – Every Goliath Has Its David
Dutch Uncles-Steadycam
[Don't be jealous of my amazing taste]
I'd say this song will be on repeat for awhile (I have just fallen in love with it!):
(This youtube version is pretty shitty quality - but its the only one I could find)
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Blah
I feel absolutely awful. emotionally.
I'm trying to get out of going out again tonight since I'm broke and I don't feel like doing anything at all.
I'm trying to get out of going out again tonight since I'm broke and I don't feel like doing anything at all.
RIP Trova
Saw this article on NYTimes.com this morning:
Ernest Trova, ‘Falling Man’ Artist, Is Dead at 82
Ernest Trova, an artist whose signature creation, a gleaming humanoid known as “Falling Man,” appeared in a series of sculptures and paintings and became a symbol of an imperfect humanity hurtling into the future, died at home on Sunday in Richmond Heights, Mo., near St. Louis. He was 82.
The cause was congestive heart failure, said his son, Ernest Tino Trova.
Mr. Trova was largely known as a sculptor, but his “Falling Man,” a standard of Pop Art, began life as a painted figure, taking shape on his easel in the early 1960s. Faceless, armless, with a hint of a belly and, its name notwithstanding, of indeterminate sex, the figure struck a variety of poses, sometimes juxtaposed with other like figures, sometimes with mechanical appendages.
In October 1963 his one-man show, “Falling Man Paintings,” was the inaugural exhibition of the Pace Gallery on West 57th Street in Manhattan; it sold out, with the works purchased by the Museum of Modern Art, the Whitney Museum, the architect Philip Johnson and others.
In three dimensions, the “Falling Man” figure was made from different materials over the years — nickel and chrome-plated bronze, enamel on aluminum, stainless steel — and often, like the Oscar statuette, was polished to an industrial sheen. It was clearly a space age creation, a forerunner of C3PO, the golden robot in “Star Wars.”
“He found the space age both inspiring and dehumanizing,” Arne Glimcher, who founded the Pace Gallery, now PaceWildenstein, said in an interview on Friday.
By the end of the 1960s, “Falling Man” had become Mr. Trova’s trademark, provoking Hilton Kramer, the art critic of The New York Times, to write that Mr. Trova had subjected his favorite figure “to almost as many variations as the Kama Sutra describes for the act of love.”
Ernest Tino Trova Jr. was born in St. Louis on Feb. 19, 1927. Shortly after his high school graduation his father, an industrial tool designer and inventor, died, and young Ernie, as he was known, went to work, most significantly as a window dresser for a department store. His early paintings were in the Abstract Expressionist mode, but his attentiveness to the mannequins had an influence on his art.
Through the 1970s and 1980s he continued with “Falling Man,” though he also became interested in formalized, almost mechanical-seeming landscapes, and the figures began to appear, reduced in size, within the context of abstractly rendered gardens.
A self-taught artist with an impish wit and an eccentric turn of mind, Mr. Trova craved the recognition that was available to artists only in New York City, but he never visited for more than a week at a time and made almost no friends among New York artists. He did befriend Ezra Pound. As a fevered fan of Julio Yglesias, he went to the singer’s concerts all over the United States.
“Ernie had a fabulous fantasy life,” Richard Solomon, the president of Pace Prints, the publishing arm of PaceWildenstein, said in an interview. “He had a persona he used to hide behind that he called ‘Junior Person.’ He was a wonderful man, but an oddball to beat the band.”
Mr. Trova left the Pace Gallery in the mid-1980s and signed with an inexperienced dealer in St. Louis. His profile went into decline, except in his hometown, where his donation of many of his works helped create the Laumeier Sculpture Park. He continued to work until shortly before his death. Most recently he was making collages using magazine photographs of meat.
“There’s a great one of a lamb chop sitting on a park bench,” said Matthew Strauss, a friend who runs White Flag Projects, a nonprofit gallery in St. Louis.
In addition to his son, known as Tino, who lives in St. Louis, he is survived by a daughter, Tristan Rand Rivas, of Minneapolis; a stepdaughter, Carla Hassel of Colorado Springs; and two grandchildren. His wife of 48 years, Carol Clingman Rand Trova, died last year.
Among Mr. Trova’s interests were toys — he amassed a huge and valuable collection — and Walt Disney characters, especially Mickey Mouse.
“ ‘Falling Man’ was to Ernie as Mickey was to Disney,” Mr. Strauss said, “a standard character he could amend for his own purposes, but that would still retain its essence.”
Ernest Trova, ‘Falling Man’ Artist, Is Dead at 82
Ernest Trova, an artist whose signature creation, a gleaming humanoid known as “Falling Man,” appeared in a series of sculptures and paintings and became a symbol of an imperfect humanity hurtling into the future, died at home on Sunday in Richmond Heights, Mo., near St. Louis. He was 82.
The cause was congestive heart failure, said his son, Ernest Tino Trova.
Mr. Trova was largely known as a sculptor, but his “Falling Man,” a standard of Pop Art, began life as a painted figure, taking shape on his easel in the early 1960s. Faceless, armless, with a hint of a belly and, its name notwithstanding, of indeterminate sex, the figure struck a variety of poses, sometimes juxtaposed with other like figures, sometimes with mechanical appendages.
In October 1963 his one-man show, “Falling Man Paintings,” was the inaugural exhibition of the Pace Gallery on West 57th Street in Manhattan; it sold out, with the works purchased by the Museum of Modern Art, the Whitney Museum, the architect Philip Johnson and others.
In three dimensions, the “Falling Man” figure was made from different materials over the years — nickel and chrome-plated bronze, enamel on aluminum, stainless steel — and often, like the Oscar statuette, was polished to an industrial sheen. It was clearly a space age creation, a forerunner of C3PO, the golden robot in “Star Wars.”
“He found the space age both inspiring and dehumanizing,” Arne Glimcher, who founded the Pace Gallery, now PaceWildenstein, said in an interview on Friday.
By the end of the 1960s, “Falling Man” had become Mr. Trova’s trademark, provoking Hilton Kramer, the art critic of The New York Times, to write that Mr. Trova had subjected his favorite figure “to almost as many variations as the Kama Sutra describes for the act of love.”
Ernest Tino Trova Jr. was born in St. Louis on Feb. 19, 1927. Shortly after his high school graduation his father, an industrial tool designer and inventor, died, and young Ernie, as he was known, went to work, most significantly as a window dresser for a department store. His early paintings were in the Abstract Expressionist mode, but his attentiveness to the mannequins had an influence on his art.
Through the 1970s and 1980s he continued with “Falling Man,” though he also became interested in formalized, almost mechanical-seeming landscapes, and the figures began to appear, reduced in size, within the context of abstractly rendered gardens.
A self-taught artist with an impish wit and an eccentric turn of mind, Mr. Trova craved the recognition that was available to artists only in New York City, but he never visited for more than a week at a time and made almost no friends among New York artists. He did befriend Ezra Pound. As a fevered fan of Julio Yglesias, he went to the singer’s concerts all over the United States.
“Ernie had a fabulous fantasy life,” Richard Solomon, the president of Pace Prints, the publishing arm of PaceWildenstein, said in an interview. “He had a persona he used to hide behind that he called ‘Junior Person.’ He was a wonderful man, but an oddball to beat the band.”
Mr. Trova left the Pace Gallery in the mid-1980s and signed with an inexperienced dealer in St. Louis. His profile went into decline, except in his hometown, where his donation of many of his works helped create the Laumeier Sculpture Park. He continued to work until shortly before his death. Most recently he was making collages using magazine photographs of meat.
“There’s a great one of a lamb chop sitting on a park bench,” said Matthew Strauss, a friend who runs White Flag Projects, a nonprofit gallery in St. Louis.
In addition to his son, known as Tino, who lives in St. Louis, he is survived by a daughter, Tristan Rand Rivas, of Minneapolis; a stepdaughter, Carla Hassel of Colorado Springs; and two grandchildren. His wife of 48 years, Carol Clingman Rand Trova, died last year.
Among Mr. Trova’s interests were toys — he amassed a huge and valuable collection — and Walt Disney characters, especially Mickey Mouse.
“ ‘Falling Man’ was to Ernie as Mickey was to Disney,” Mr. Strauss said, “a standard character he could amend for his own purposes, but that would still retain its essence.”
Funny thing, I've never even heard of Trova's Falling Man. I know and love him for all his work in Laumeier! When I worked at SLUMA, they had a few of his pieces (paintings) as well.
And I had no idea he had so much widespread fame, it's a shame it took his obituary for me to realize it.
Rest in Peace Ernest Trova.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Unhealed
I don't know what's harder... cutting you off or trying to be your friend.
Or which is healthier for me.
There's no point in expensive phone calls spent saying harsh things, taking digs at one another.
I found a letter buried under a bunch of crap on my desk while cleaning tonight. The words in it represent something (and someone) I wish was real, but isn't. I unfolded another paper underneath and a couple of photos fell out.
I hate that all these things can come at me, and remind me that the pain is still there. I don't even know that its you that I miss, but the possibility of an entire life and future that I could've had... that will never happen now.
Fuck, I never would've thought these things would be on my mind 7 months later.
But I've overheard my mom talking to my Uncle Mike a lot about grief counseling, and while this is obviously not nearly the same level of loss, I've learned you need to work through the emotions to move past them.
Or which is healthier for me.
There's no point in expensive phone calls spent saying harsh things, taking digs at one another.
I found a letter buried under a bunch of crap on my desk while cleaning tonight. The words in it represent something (and someone) I wish was real, but isn't. I unfolded another paper underneath and a couple of photos fell out.
I hate that all these things can come at me, and remind me that the pain is still there. I don't even know that its you that I miss, but the possibility of an entire life and future that I could've had... that will never happen now.
Fuck, I never would've thought these things would be on my mind 7 months later.
But I've overheard my mom talking to my Uncle Mike a lot about grief counseling, and while this is obviously not nearly the same level of loss, I've learned you need to work through the emotions to move past them.
I'm like a woman from Brazil....
I have a delightful little secret that I get to share with someone on Monday....and I'm not going to be any less mysterious than that!
I am also the proud owner of a bottle of 2005 Chambourcin from Chaumette Winery in Ste. Genevieve, MO. Christina, Amanda, and I had a fun day hitting up the wineries there yesterday. I'd say my favorite was the Cave Winery... as it had a cave and I like caves. Chaumette had delicious wines, though.
Today I MIGHT actually get around to cleaning my room, and its literally been since Christmas that I've cleaned...its getting hard to move around in my room. Plus it always happens that there are cute clothes I forget that I own because they've been buried under piles for so long.
Ok, going to eat some lunch, workout, and then do that cleaning!
I am also the proud owner of a bottle of 2005 Chambourcin from Chaumette Winery in Ste. Genevieve, MO. Christina, Amanda, and I had a fun day hitting up the wineries there yesterday. I'd say my favorite was the Cave Winery... as it had a cave and I like caves. Chaumette had delicious wines, though.
Today I MIGHT actually get around to cleaning my room, and its literally been since Christmas that I've cleaned...its getting hard to move around in my room. Plus it always happens that there are cute clothes I forget that I own because they've been buried under piles for so long.
Ok, going to eat some lunch, workout, and then do that cleaning!
Monday, March 9, 2009
A Different Mondrian
ArtBlog by Bob's newest post made me wonder what else DID Mondrian do besides his geometric cubist pieces in black and white and primary colors? While I love Broadway Boogie-Woogie, and Composition with Red, Yellow, and Blue -- there has to be more to him than that, of course.
Check out some of his earlier and lesser known works:
Dune Landscape, 1910
Check out some of his earlier and lesser known works:
Dune Landscape, 1910Sunday, March 8, 2009
Daylight Savings Time Kicked My Ass
I hate daylight savings time. Or maybe just my phone.
I stayed at Claire's last night, we went to bed early ,at midnight - and we double checked if it was "spring back" or "spring forward." (There was some confusion over this due to our mental state at the time). After realizing it was "spring forward" I set my cell phone clock back and set my alarm for 8:15 (had to be at work at 9:30). Well, all was fine and good,my alarm went off, I got ready, and I get out of the bathroom and my cell phone clock has suddenly jumped forward to 9:50. Which was actually the real time, meaning it had undone the change I had made last night somehow.
So I was almost an hour late to work, and I was the one opening the clinic. There was a therapist and client waiting outside for me... looking quite unhappy. The guy cancelled his appointment and the therapist was angry she lost that money for the day.
So I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get chewed out when I work again tomorrow. Ugh.
And there are tornado warnings out for today. The wind is blowing like crazy outside..and I've never seen clouds moving so fast. eek.
I stayed at Claire's last night, we went to bed early ,at midnight - and we double checked if it was "spring back" or "spring forward." (There was some confusion over this due to our mental state at the time). After realizing it was "spring forward" I set my cell phone clock back and set my alarm for 8:15 (had to be at work at 9:30). Well, all was fine and good,my alarm went off, I got ready, and I get out of the bathroom and my cell phone clock has suddenly jumped forward to 9:50. Which was actually the real time, meaning it had undone the change I had made last night somehow.
So I was almost an hour late to work, and I was the one opening the clinic. There was a therapist and client waiting outside for me... looking quite unhappy. The guy cancelled his appointment and the therapist was angry she lost that money for the day.
So I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get chewed out when I work again tomorrow. Ugh.
And there are tornado warnings out for today. The wind is blowing like crazy outside..and I've never seen clouds moving so fast. eek.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Happy Friday!
I'm craving starfruit. Which is the most delicious fruit in existence. The star of fruits you might say. (Yes, I'm in a silly cheesy pun mood.)Also loving this bright sunny warm day! I'm going to take Bonnie on a nice long walk in a minute!
Working later, but I'll be working with Kristen - so I'm looking forward to it!
We Think You're a Joke. Shove Your Hope Where It Don't Shine
I love that Douglis, my architecture professor, brought us all some Schlafly beer on the last day of class!
Finally went and saw Claire after class to study some German - and I guess its all good from Tuesday when I ditched her (she was in a good mood and didn't mention it at all).
I met with Emily earlier. I always feel weird after our appointments - like guilty that I just talked about myself for an hour. But I guess that is the nature of her job. Are you supposed to get to know the counselor too?? Or are they just supposed to get to know you?
Well its 2am and I'm super awake since I just worked out at 1am... because I'm dedicated like that.... or atleast have been for the last week or so.
This is my favorite song from my current car CD and I have it in my head!
Finally went and saw Claire after class to study some German - and I guess its all good from Tuesday when I ditched her (she was in a good mood and didn't mention it at all).
I met with Emily earlier. I always feel weird after our appointments - like guilty that I just talked about myself for an hour. But I guess that is the nature of her job. Are you supposed to get to know the counselor too?? Or are they just supposed to get to know you?
Well its 2am and I'm super awake since I just worked out at 1am... because I'm dedicated like that.... or atleast have been for the last week or so.
This is my favorite song from my current car CD and I have it in my head!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
"And instead of a mouth, it's got four arses!"
Ooohh also meant to post about the sheer brilliance that is Father Ted. I watched a bunch of episodes online last night, and was reminded how great it is.
Irish humour at its absolute best:
[Youtube wouldn't let me embed, but to all of my TWO readers - you must watch- its GOLD! Click the link!]
Reeling
Lalalalalalala-LOTS to do today, but I'm in a good mood!
Seeing Emily for the first time in a week and a half in about an hour!
Thinking about Vienna alot lately and I'm really really really excited! I sort of wish I had a travel buddy this time like I had Claire last time -- but its sort of good challenge for me to go on my own. (Not to say I don't have about a dozen people I vaguely know from Webster going too, one of which is actually a childhood friend who I haven't seen in about 10 years!).
Ahhh Adderall + Caffeine today means I'm a little bit wired!!!!! But I'm trying this 3-Day/Pre-Heart Surgery diet which requires 2 cups of black coffee daily!
I'm off to shower! Ciao!
Seeing Emily for the first time in a week and a half in about an hour!
Thinking about Vienna alot lately and I'm really really really excited! I sort of wish I had a travel buddy this time like I had Claire last time -- but its sort of good challenge for me to go on my own. (Not to say I don't have about a dozen people I vaguely know from Webster going too, one of which is actually a childhood friend who I haven't seen in about 10 years!).
Ahhh Adderall + Caffeine today means I'm a little bit wired!!!!! But I'm trying this 3-Day/Pre-Heart Surgery diet which requires 2 cups of black coffee daily!
I'm off to shower! Ciao!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
I <3 Dawn
I adore Dawn Porter.
First saw on her TLC's couple episodes of Forbidden Love. She hosts this series which is about alternate types of relationships - she has one on polygamy and one on geishas. Those are the only two that aired on TLC in the US, but she had several more in the UK on BBC. And she has done several other documentaries as well - like one about Dirty Dancing, and one about images of women in the media.
She has such a cute little Brit accent and I love her funky retro style!
I've managed to find some of her stuff on youtube -- a documentary called Dawn Goes Lesbian which is interesting. and I just watched one called SuperSlim Me about her trying to reach a size zero in 8 weeks.
And, uh, just added her on myspace! ha... I'm so creepy.
Anywho...hope to be able to dig up more of her programs, and maybe they'll air more on TLC too!
Just as I suspected...
You're cute, but shallow, selfish, and really really needy.
It's funny- you get a certain impression of someone... you think, "I'll look past that- see who they really are." And two years later they are exactly what you thought they were. I'll trust myself and my instincts more often.
It's funny- you get a certain impression of someone... you think, "I'll look past that- see who they really are." And two years later they are exactly what you thought they were. I'll trust myself and my instincts more often.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Happy Birthday Mom!
So I'm kind of ditching out on Claire...
we were supposed to hang out this evening, walk Clementine, get some dinner, and study.
But A) its Mom's birthday and dad is out of town- so she'd be home alone, B) I will probably end up eating junk and ice cream with claire and I've already eaten too many Samoas and Thin Mints today, and C) maybe I'm still sort of bitter that she ditched me for Anastasia last Tuesday.
And if I stay home I'll be able to hang out with Mom on her bday and get some things done!
To Do List for the Evening:
-Work out
-Clean my room!
+ Organize earrings
+rearrange closet
-Study for German Oral midterm
-Write check for Mom
-Paint nails & Toes (they are currently bright yellow -which got mixed reviews- and were gray before that... maybe spring green, or bright purple next??)
-Pluck eyebrows
-Finish Vienna paperwork - housing, health insurance, summer registration, etc.
-Work on Creative Strategies photo project (which is actually pretty cool - I haven't gotten to play with photo editing so much before)
I'm going to wineries with Christina on Saturday in St. Gen! Very exciting!
A little vino sounds delicious right now. mmmm.
we were supposed to hang out this evening, walk Clementine, get some dinner, and study.
But A) its Mom's birthday and dad is out of town- so she'd be home alone, B) I will probably end up eating junk and ice cream with claire and I've already eaten too many Samoas and Thin Mints today, and C) maybe I'm still sort of bitter that she ditched me for Anastasia last Tuesday.
And if I stay home I'll be able to hang out with Mom on her bday and get some things done!
To Do List for the Evening:
-Work out
-Clean my room!
+ Organize earrings
+rearrange closet
-Study for German Oral midterm
-Write check for Mom
-Paint nails & Toes (they are currently bright yellow -which got mixed reviews- and were gray before that... maybe spring green, or bright purple next??)
-Pluck eyebrows
-Finish Vienna paperwork - housing, health insurance, summer registration, etc.
-Work on Creative Strategies photo project (which is actually pretty cool - I haven't gotten to play with photo editing so much before)
I'm going to wineries with Christina on Saturday in St. Gen! Very exciting!
A little vino sounds delicious right now. mmmm.
Whoops.
So I just felt really impulsive after that last post and spent $80 on etsy.
oops.
I'm going to have several really cute things soon though!!
oops.
I'm going to have several really cute things soon though!!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
ART = LOVE
I love art more than I could ever put into words. Sometimes when I'm in an art history class in an interesting lecture, or reading an article about an upcoming exhibit, or looking at an art blog.... my heart just wells up with a burst of emotion because I love art so much. It sounds cheesy - but its that feeling that reassures me I'm doing the right thing. Being in school for 7 years to study undergrad art history, studying in Vienna when I have no money, and going into a field where I won't make much money....these things seem ok when I am doing what I absolutely, without a doubt... LOVE with my whole heart.
And I don't care how corny my follow-your-dreams shpeel just was...even writing about it makes me feel happy!
And I don't care how corny my follow-your-dreams shpeel just was...even writing about it makes me feel happy!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
i want to look good
So here's the cold hard truth: I'm a fatty.
These last two crazy years have taken a toll on my eating habits and thus my weight.
This weekend I had a Creative Strategies project which involved me asking people in certain categories to take photos of me. This meant I had to see a large amount of pictures of myself not posed in positions intended to be cute and flattering.
Also this weekend- I went jeans shopping for the first time in forever. Sadly - it was a miserable experience and I have apparently reached an all time high in my jeans size. I did find two pairs that are cute and fit well... but still the whole process of finding good jeans was utterly depressing.
Other facts:
- It is likely Ciaran became a douche to me because he was no longer attracted to a fat girlfriend.
-I was asked on Halloween if I was Monica Lewinski because I am that large.
Now I don't hate myself and think I'm completely disgusting. I am happy with my face -- it might be a little vain, but I do believe that I am pretty.
So... I'll be in Vienna in a little over 2 months. If I lose 2-3 pounds a week I can lose 20 pounds or more by the time I leave.
Until then - I really don't think I can date, flirt, anything. My confidence is kind of shot. I've had two good looking guys with awesome personalities that I met on an online dating site show a lot of interest in me based on a profile and some pictures of me. Everything goes great until they ask me to meet up, then I freak out and come to the reality that they might not find me attractive unless they are into slightly chubby girls. I'd rather skip the whole thing then deal with the possibility that I could be rejected because of my weight. This same dilemma applies to an upcoming male visitor I may be having.
I'm ready to date again(read: over Ciaran). But without confidence and without my old body I feel like its just not gonna happen.
I'm trying to be realistic and be honest with myself. But this whole thing just pisses me off. I hate that I automatically become unlovable and unattractive just because I gain 15 pounds. A part of me thinks if I lose weight I run the risk of landing another guy just like all the rest who is only with me b/c he likes the skinny me... and what happens if/when I gain weight again??
So I just want to lose the weight.. be happy... and try not to think of that risk.
If I can just work out everyday, watch what I eat a little bit better... I think I can do it.
Ciaran and I went out to eat so much --- so many gross chicken finger/fries meals from the zoo when I'd visit him there. Greasy sugary breakfasts at Denny's/IHOP/Uncle Bill's literally every weekend morning.
Eating pints of ice cream and chocolate cake with Claire in August and October venting over all the stupid drama that occurred after Ciaran left and we broke up.
I want to work off all that. Emotionally and physically - be done with it for good.
Blah. Blah. Blah. Ok so hopefully this is the moment where I stop whining and bitching and just actually do it!!
These last two crazy years have taken a toll on my eating habits and thus my weight.
This weekend I had a Creative Strategies project which involved me asking people in certain categories to take photos of me. This meant I had to see a large amount of pictures of myself not posed in positions intended to be cute and flattering.
Also this weekend- I went jeans shopping for the first time in forever. Sadly - it was a miserable experience and I have apparently reached an all time high in my jeans size. I did find two pairs that are cute and fit well... but still the whole process of finding good jeans was utterly depressing.
Other facts:
- It is likely Ciaran became a douche to me because he was no longer attracted to a fat girlfriend.
-I was asked on Halloween if I was Monica Lewinski because I am that large.
Now I don't hate myself and think I'm completely disgusting. I am happy with my face -- it might be a little vain, but I do believe that I am pretty.
So... I'll be in Vienna in a little over 2 months. If I lose 2-3 pounds a week I can lose 20 pounds or more by the time I leave.
Until then - I really don't think I can date, flirt, anything. My confidence is kind of shot. I've had two good looking guys with awesome personalities that I met on an online dating site show a lot of interest in me based on a profile and some pictures of me. Everything goes great until they ask me to meet up, then I freak out and come to the reality that they might not find me attractive unless they are into slightly chubby girls. I'd rather skip the whole thing then deal with the possibility that I could be rejected because of my weight. This same dilemma applies to an upcoming male visitor I may be having.
I'm ready to date again(read: over Ciaran). But without confidence and without my old body I feel like its just not gonna happen.
I'm trying to be realistic and be honest with myself. But this whole thing just pisses me off. I hate that I automatically become unlovable and unattractive just because I gain 15 pounds. A part of me thinks if I lose weight I run the risk of landing another guy just like all the rest who is only with me b/c he likes the skinny me... and what happens if/when I gain weight again??
So I just want to lose the weight.. be happy... and try not to think of that risk.
If I can just work out everyday, watch what I eat a little bit better... I think I can do it.
Ciaran and I went out to eat so much --- so many gross chicken finger/fries meals from the zoo when I'd visit him there. Greasy sugary breakfasts at Denny's/IHOP/Uncle Bill's literally every weekend morning.
Eating pints of ice cream and chocolate cake with Claire in August and October venting over all the stupid drama that occurred after Ciaran left and we broke up.
I want to work off all that. Emotionally and physically - be done with it for good.
Blah. Blah. Blah. Ok so hopefully this is the moment where I stop whining and bitching and just actually do it!!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Ich bin ein Wien-er
I'm going on a diet starting tomorrow + working out more since apparently nothing is wrong with my knee!! (but I have to get physical therapy...)
I hate and adore men all at once... how can this be... I've been feeling a little boy crazy lately, but also feeling very man-hating... its strange. I guess you can't live with 'em......etc. etc.
I have about 5 crushes right now. Probably none of them will turn into anything. Or they already were something and shouldn't be anything again.
I should probably focus on school and save myself for some beautiful Austrian men (less than three months away!!!!)
I read all of New Moon (second book in the Twilight series, borrowed from Shannon) in less than 48 hours. Still the most addicting series ever. I unnecessarily stayed up til 3am last night to finish it, I was so into it. Though in this one, the werewolf-boy is just as hot (if not hotter) than the vamp. Also, the whole first half of the book was extremely depressing and made me feel as if I'd just gone through a break up all over again.
Other thoughts as of late...
-I love my new laptop!
-I'm super stressed about gathering funds for Vienna, but I'm going no matter what, goddamnit!
-I just don't like Claire's little sister, and she's really not that bad, but I can't help it.
-Apparently I've made a lot of progress in counselling appt.s these past few weeks... and this makes me really happy. Things are def. improving...
-I NEED SOME CHOCOLATE.
-I NEED SOME ASS.
-I need to be writing a paper... but I'm stalling...
Wellll, OFF I GO!
I hate and adore men all at once... how can this be... I've been feeling a little boy crazy lately, but also feeling very man-hating... its strange. I guess you can't live with 'em......etc. etc.
I have about 5 crushes right now. Probably none of them will turn into anything. Or they already were something and shouldn't be anything again.
I should probably focus on school and save myself for some beautiful Austrian men (less than three months away!!!!)
I read all of New Moon (second book in the Twilight series, borrowed from Shannon) in less than 48 hours. Still the most addicting series ever. I unnecessarily stayed up til 3am last night to finish it, I was so into it. Though in this one, the werewolf-boy is just as hot (if not hotter) than the vamp. Also, the whole first half of the book was extremely depressing and made me feel as if I'd just gone through a break up all over again.
Other thoughts as of late...
-I love my new laptop!
-I'm super stressed about gathering funds for Vienna, but I'm going no matter what, goddamnit!
-I just don't like Claire's little sister, and she's really not that bad, but I can't help it.
-Apparently I've made a lot of progress in counselling appt.s these past few weeks... and this makes me really happy. Things are def. improving...
-I NEED SOME CHOCOLATE.
-I NEED SOME ASS.
-I need to be writing a paper... but I'm stalling...
Wellll, OFF I GO!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice
Work by some of my favorites...
(These all remind me of me, as a little girl, and now)
Little Girl in a Blue Chair, Mary Cassatt
Portrait of Helene Klimt, Gustav Klimt
Identical Twins, Diane Arbus
Woman with Two Little Girls, Edgar Degas
(These all remind me of me, as a little girl, and now)
Little Girl in a Blue Chair, Mary Cassatt
Portrait of Helene Klimt, Gustav Klimt
Identical Twins, Diane Arbus
Woman with Two Little Girls, Edgar DegasDie Sonne Scheint!
This week has been a million times better than last week.
I have lots to look forward to in the coming weeks and months and that makes me happy.
It just seems like everything's coming together - financially, and in other ways, too.
Have more to write about-- but must finish architecture paper!!
Tschuss!
I have lots to look forward to in the coming weeks and months and that makes me happy.
It just seems like everything's coming together - financially, and in other ways, too.
Have more to write about-- but must finish architecture paper!!
Tschuss!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Smoking Kills
I'm craving a cigarette. Sometimes that happens to me.
If I didn't know better, I could easily become a smoker I think.
But I won't.
If I didn't know better, I could easily become a smoker I think.
But I won't.
Fuck You Valentine's Day
I'm going to Vienna this summer (!!!), maybe staying through December for the fall semester, we'll see....
I have to get an MRI on my knee on Tuesday...eek.
Currently having a very bad night. Just feeling fat and depressed and lonely.. Happy V-day To Me!
Tomorrow: Must finish study abroad application, MUST take out student loan and convince parents to cosign, must watch Peter Eisenmann DVD, must do sketch for design project!!
MUST FINISH IT ALL!
(I'll try not to be so negative tomorrow.)
I have to get an MRI on my knee on Tuesday...eek.
Currently having a very bad night. Just feeling fat and depressed and lonely.. Happy V-day To Me!
Tomorrow: Must finish study abroad application, MUST take out student loan and convince parents to cosign, must watch Peter Eisenmann DVD, must do sketch for design project!!
MUST FINISH IT ALL!
(I'll try not to be so negative tomorrow.)
Friday, February 13, 2009
Whew.
Two out of the three things that were bothering me are out of the way and turned out more than ok.
My grandma ended up having a quadruple bypass this morning, but came out ok, and is now in recovery.
I also do not have to drop German.
And I found out I may very likely be going to Vienna this summer!!!!
More later...
My grandma ended up having a quadruple bypass this morning, but came out ok, and is now in recovery.
I also do not have to drop German.
And I found out I may very likely be going to Vienna this summer!!!!
More later...
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Regaining Sanity
I hate this week.
M-W was pretty much a "Hyde" few days (or is it Jekyll? I'm thoroughly confused at this point). Today I think I'm finally back to my Jekyll, sane self. (ha- sounds so funny.) Lots of fixing of things to do. as always. story of my life. I have an appt. with Emily today and I'm going to talk to her about it.
This has nothing to do with the above paragraph (or maybe it does?). But I recently noticed an interesting pattern while talking about boys with friends. All the guys who have been actual boyfriends of mine have had blonde or light sandy brown hair and blue eyes. All the guys who I've cheated on people with (sad that I have that category, isn't it?), had random hookups with, etc. have had brown eyes, and black hair. Very very interesting. Hmmm.
Anyway, I better go be productive...
M-W was pretty much a "Hyde" few days (or is it Jekyll? I'm thoroughly confused at this point). Today I think I'm finally back to my Jekyll, sane self. (ha- sounds so funny.) Lots of fixing of things to do. as always. story of my life. I have an appt. with Emily today and I'm going to talk to her about it.
This has nothing to do with the above paragraph (or maybe it does?). But I recently noticed an interesting pattern while talking about boys with friends. All the guys who have been actual boyfriends of mine have had blonde or light sandy brown hair and blue eyes. All the guys who I've cheated on people with (sad that I have that category, isn't it?), had random hookups with, etc. have had brown eyes, and black hair. Very very interesting. Hmmm.
Anyway, I better go be productive...
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Heavy News
I found out today that my grandma, who went in the hospital for minor chest pains, will need a triple bypass surgery soon.
Not even mentioning the obvious reason why this is upsetting, it has a lot of implications for our family -- like the fact that my grandpa might have to live with us (and this would be a very very unhealthy thing for all parties involved), and that my Dad's siblings are not around (i.e. in Texas and Indiana) when these things happen and all the responsibility falls on our family.
I have a lot of mixed emotions too -- like the conflict I had with my grandparents two Christmases ago, and how things feel only semi-resolved. How I've always told myself to spend more time with my grandma ever since Grandma Gallaher died... yet I never really have taken the time to do so.
I think these past few months have just shown me how important it really is to take the time to appreciate those around you that you might take for granted, especially family. Before you know it, they could be gone.
On a lighter note... this made me happy today:
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
New Hair
I have a new 'do and it is tres chic!!!!
I'm pretty excited about it. I got a cross between Audrey Hepburn (Funny Face era) and Kenley Collins (of Project Runway) bangs. And relayered the rest while keeping my length. I LOVE IT! You know you are going to get a good haircut when your stylist has the same name as you and is in a rock band! Plus, Claire said they are the best bangs I've ever had -- and I thoroughly trust Claire's opinion on matters of style and beauty.
I may or may not post pictures, b/c that would ruin my anonymity.
Here are the pictures that I brought to the stylist though, as inspiration:
I'm pretty excited about it. I got a cross between Audrey Hepburn (Funny Face era) and Kenley Collins (of Project Runway) bangs. And relayered the rest while keeping my length. I LOVE IT! You know you are going to get a good haircut when your stylist has the same name as you and is in a rock band! Plus, Claire said they are the best bangs I've ever had -- and I thoroughly trust Claire's opinion on matters of style and beauty.
I may or may not post pictures, b/c that would ruin my anonymity.
Here are the pictures that I brought to the stylist though, as inspiration:
Monday, February 9, 2009
I Don't Hold My Breath Anymore, I'll Just Turn Blue
Quote of the night from one of the therapists at work:
Me: Have a good night!
Denise: I'll try to, but I don't hold my breath anymore--I'll just turn blue.
Today was a bad day. My conclusions on the day are that I am an idiot. Truly an idiot. I feel like I am like Jekyll & Hyde sometimes. My Jekyll side is lazy, crazy, and rebellious, and does really irresponsible things. Then Hyde just has to always go back and fix everything that Jekyll messes up. Its a very exhausting, frustrating, and depressing process.
And um, I'm not actually that crazy, but in a way thats how I operate.
Mandi told me about some friends of hers that are a married couple. Their dream is life is to travel and thats what they do. Every few years they pick up and move to somewhere else in the world, they just find simple jobs and get an apartment and enjoy the city. They've lived in Toronto, Melbourne, and other cities.
I think that is what I want to do. Now I've just got to find somebody to do it with me!
Me: Have a good night!
Denise: I'll try to, but I don't hold my breath anymore--I'll just turn blue.
Today was a bad day. My conclusions on the day are that I am an idiot. Truly an idiot. I feel like I am like Jekyll & Hyde sometimes. My Jekyll side is lazy, crazy, and rebellious, and does really irresponsible things. Then Hyde just has to always go back and fix everything that Jekyll messes up. Its a very exhausting, frustrating, and depressing process.
And um, I'm not actually that crazy, but in a way thats how I operate.
Mandi told me about some friends of hers that are a married couple. Their dream is life is to travel and thats what they do. Every few years they pick up and move to somewhere else in the world, they just find simple jobs and get an apartment and enjoy the city. They've lived in Toronto, Melbourne, and other cities.
I think that is what I want to do. Now I've just got to find somebody to do it with me!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Street Art
I love this article.
I first heard about street art in Current Art last semester. It is actually incredibly interesting. The idea of an artist that wants anonymity in the sense of who he actually is, yet wants credit through the name he uses to tag his artwork. The artist doesn't profit at all from his work, he just loves what he is doing, or strongly wants to get a message across.
The work they do is not seen by rich collectors, elitist critics, and those in academia; hanging on walls in a museum, or in an exclusive gallery-- it is on display for all kinds of people, in places where we all see it--driving to work, walking down a street, on public transportation.
I love the danger/risk element involved -- this art must be made at a time when no one is around to see its creation. If caught, the artist is literally breaking laws. It makes your average artist seem so much less edgy.
The street artist does not walk around in skinny jeans, vintage sweaters, wacky colors, emo hair, and wayfarers which scream "LOOK AT ME--I AM SO EDGY AND COOL AND ARTSY." (hey, I wear these things myself, I'm just sayin...) He is truly about his work and his message, and not about the hip image he gets to have as an artist.
A lot of people might think street art is mostly low art, gang related, etc. , and some of it very well may be, but there is a lot of really cool street art that is being made right now.
Banksy, based in London, is probably the most famous street artist -- check out his work, I absolutely love it.
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